Silence the lambs version 2
by Guber
Summary: Clarice gets a chance to see how her life could be, but is she convinced? *COMPLETE*
1. Safe driving

Silence the lambs version two  
  
Time line 1 year after Hannibal, the movie.  
  
A/N: for those of you have read version one, should only read chapters 1 and 2 and everything that comes after chapter 30, because the story in between those chapters are the same..  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Clarice drove though the early morning streets; there weren't any humans, only the ghosts of the night slowing hiding for the bright new day that was coming. The gray light slowly found it's way to the streets.  
  
Clarice had miraculously saved her career after what had happen at Chesapeake, how she had done it she didn't know, and she didn't have the strength to figure it out.  
  
She was being treated as a rookie, and every one was avoiding her, even Ardi, who was supposed to be her best friend. A life long dream had become a nightmare. In the darkest corners of her life she kept asking her self how life would have been if she had asked Dr. Lecter to stop, if she had run with him. But it was too late.  
  
Her life was noting but drug raids and delivering sapiens, if she thought they hated before for capturing buffalo bill, they hated her even more because they thought she had let Dr. Lecter escape. Of all the meetings they have had, she was the only one to get out alive again and again. She really didn't care to know why she was still in the bureau, perhaps because it was better to know where she was, she was the only weakness they knew Dr. Lecter had, and they would use her every time, until she ended up dead.  
  
Clarice had never talked to any one about her feelings, of what had happen at Chesapeake, for Dr. Lecter or any of what had happen, she didn't trust any one. In stead she was hunted by the screaming lambs, Dr. Lecter and the kiss.  
  
Clarice was lost in thought and didn't notice the car speeding towards her from the side road. In a matter of seconds, the two cars collided with glass and metal everywhere. Clarice felt the instant pain and her head crashed into the steering wheel. Everything went black.  
  
A/N now dear you might wonder what I am up to... me tooo. I suddenly decided to have some fun and I realized that this was one way to do... Please let me know what you think..  
  
Ta ta 


	2. dream state

Chapter 2  
  
Clarice tried to open her eyes but the light was too bright. "Where am I?" there was no answer. "Hallo" still nothing but her own voice. It forced her to open her eyes. Clarice was place that wasn't a room, there where no walls or any sky, it was simply white.  
  
Clarice turned around, finding it the same where ever she looked. Panic began to take control of her. "Hallo!!!!" this time she was greeted by a voice, bearing old age, yet Clarice would swear that it sounded like her dad.  
  
"Hello Clarice and welcome." Clarice found strange comfort in the voice; it took away her fear and her panic. "Where am I?" "Where do you think Clarice?" "I don't know, all I remember is that I was driving my car, when." The sudden realization of what had happen hit her. "I'm not dead am I?" the voice was this accompanied with a figure, bearing white clothes. "That depends Clarice, do you want to be dead?" the question surprised Clarice. "No, At least I don't think so." "Hmm I didn't think so." "So where am I then?" "You Clarice is at a crossroad. You simply has to decided what is worth living for and what is worth dying for." "That's not easy" the man was now in front of her, she couldn't see his features, it was like he was faceless and yet not. "But Clarice you have already made that choice." "I have?" "Tell me Clarice where you happy?" "With what, my life and how it turned out?" "With the choices you made." Clarice suddenly hear her own voice in distance speaking her thoughts of how things might have changed if she had gone with Dr. Lecter. Clarice was embarrassed. "So Clarice, would you be happier with a madman?" "He's not" Clarice stopped, what was the point of arguing it. "What do you say we find out?" "How?" "Your going to dream Clarice, this is just one possibility of how you might meet him." "How have you figured that out?" "Hmm, now that would be telling wouldn't it?" "I guess. So how long will the dream last?" "Until you have found your answers." "Will I come back here?" but the man and the voice was gone.  
  
A distant echo was the only answer.  
  
Dream Clarice, Dream, Dream. 


	3. working holiday

Ex special agent Clarice M. Starling walked the streets of Paris; she was following a dark man in his middle age. Clarice had been following this man for almost a week, trying to catch him red handed cheating on his wife. But he was smart. Clarice knew that he was suspicious; it was like he almost knew that his wife had hired a detective.  
  
Clarice was fired from the FBI after what happen at cheapsear her career as an agent was gone, but she didn't care anymore, Dr. Lecter was right, he had always told her the truth, it just took a while to sink in, and now it was too late, she had given her answer. "Not in a thousand years" that answer still hunted her and his kiss still burned on her lips. It was five years ago, yet she remembered it like it was yesterday.  
  
After she was thrown out of the FBI, she had to get away, so she took out her life savings and moved out of the country, she'd always wanted to go to France. She used her skills and set up a detective agency. Over the years she had gotten a reputation, she even had to hire people to keep up with the jobs.  
  
Things were going great, but Clarice still felt like there was something missing. The lambs was screaming louder then ever, and Dr. Lecter was hunting her mind, every night before she fell asleep he was there, in her mind, taking her back to the dungeon, to Baltimore and to that kiss.  
  
The man turned and walked into a hotel, a rather lavish hotel. "Just the kind Lecter would go for. Stop it Clarice, focus on the job". Clarice followed him into; she could hear him booking his usual room. Clarice went up to the desk. "Bonjour Madame" a young kid in his twenties smiled. "Do you speak English?" Clarice wanted to play tourist, she at times forgot that she was an American. "yes of cause Madame" the kid's smile grew. "I would like a room" Clarice's dripped with an American accent, she was aware that she had no luggage, and that might look suspicious. "for how long will you be staying Madame?" "Just for a few days" Clarice could really use a break, and she could at the same time keep an eye on Mr. Chouyr. The kid rang for a bell boy to show Clarice to her room, which was next to Mr. Chouyr. How convenient. Clarice thought, as she made her way to her room. 


	4. room service

Clarice set up surveillance of the neighbor room, what ever went on in there was enough to verify that he was indeed having an affair. Clarice was eager to get this over with so that she could relax. And before she could stop her self she was armed with her 45. and a camera, even after all those years she did not feel safe with out her gun. Well why not a front assault? Clarice thought with a smile on her face.  
  
She had no difficulty picking the lock, and she moved silently inside. She flicked on the light and was not surprised to find Mr. Chouyr in bed with a rather young lady. Before he could react she took several pictures. "What the hell is going on, who are you?" his voice was thick with his French accent and filled with anger. "Ahh Mr. Chouyr I am Clarice Starling a private detective hired by Mrs. Chouyr" Clarice did not try to hide her contempt, he so reminded her of Krendler, which was not a good thing. Mr. Chouyr, jumped out of the bed, griped his robe and was in Clarice's face. "who the hell do you think you are, you will give me that camera or I swear you will not like what will happen to you" Chouyr almost pushed Clarice backwards with his body, while his bad breath made Clarice felt like she was suffocating. "Is that supposed to be a treat Chouyr?" Clarice didn't feel afraid, she was exhilarated, she hadn't had this much fun in years and she wasn't about to back down now. "you take it anyway you like bitch as long as you hand over that camera and forget you where here and what you saw" Clarice moved out from Chouyr and turned to look at him, there was a fire burning in her eyes, she had already decided what to do. Mr. Chouyr was being rude, and Clarice hated rude people. "I don't think I will be able to do that Mr. Chouyr" Clarice's voice carried a trace that told Chouyr that there was only one way out of this. He lunched himself at her, but before he ever reached Clarice she had drawn her 45. And fired, the shot was precise and deadly. He fell to the floor, dead. Clarice turned towards the girl in the bed, she was screaming, she fired again, and the silence lingered over the room, dead silence. Clarice quickly left the room and returned to her own where she hid the gun and the camera, and she darted down the stairs, playing the role of a panicking tourist. 


	5. home sweet home

The police was all over the place, but they could not find any trace of the shooter. They had finished questioning Clarice, they had no suspension, and she had told them about his wife and his adultery. Clarice was left alone, the hotel had offered her another room, but she had refused, she needed to be alone, to think about what she had done.  
  
The rain had begun to fall in the night, though it was may the air was chilly, but Clarice did not notice, she walked without direction. She was deep in thought.  
  
I killed them. Oh he did try to attack me, but she, why did I shoot her? I should feel bad about it, hell I should be in prison by now. Clarice kept walking, while wondering about her feelings. His voice entered her mind, his metallic voice, prying her mind forcing her to tell herself the truth to acknowledge what she already knew, but wouldn't admit. "Don't lie or I'll know" Clarice was back in the dungeon all those years ago. "Quid pro quo Clarice, yes or no" how was it she felt after finding Raspile? It was exhilarated. And now, she felt exhilarated, there was no guilt. Clarice had reached her apartment and walked in. it was nothing fancy, it was what she could afford when she first moved to Paris, and even though she could now afford something bigger, and place nearer Paris Centrum, she didn't feel like moving. It was home, and the neighbours didn't bother to talk to her. A friendly people indeed. Clarice thought with a smile.  
  
Her two room apartment was sparsely furnished, there was a book shelf filled with books, a stereo set and some CD's. a chair and a sofa and then there was her desk, it was filled with papers, books and her laptop.  
  
Clarice turned on the light and went to stereo to put some music on. She still remembered the first time when she walked into a shop asking for help to choose her first classical music. The shop lady had talked about Mozart as a good start, but Clarice remembered how much Dr. Lecter loved Goldberg's variations, so she had asked for that in particularly, she had also bought Mozart, now her collection had grown rather large and she felt proud. Dr. Lecter had been an inspiration, and she liked to think of him like a muse. 5 years ago she would never have listen to it, much less tend to concerts, now she tried to go every weekend. Sometimes she hoped that Dr. Lecter would be there, but of cause he never was, she would never see him again no matter how much she might want to. How she had changed, as much as she tried to forget it, she felt free, there was no more FBI, and no Krendler, that had Dr. Lecter taken care of, he got what he deserved. The tones of Mozart's 5th symphony filled the apartment and Clarice went to the kitchen to prepare her dinner. She had learned to cook, she didn't knew if she was good at it or not, but at least she could eat it. While the food was in the oven clarice sat in her chair, coming to ends with the fact that she felt liberated by shooting those two. The lambs had stopped screaming for the present time. 


	6. morning revalation

Clarice had come to several conclusions during the night. The sleep had been minimal, so she had spent the time thinking. There had been no screaming lambs, and yet no sleep. She still felt free and she had every intention of keeping it that way. How life could change. Clarice thought to herself, she had had enough of rude people running all over her like she was trash. It was time for a new start. The grey morning light filled the room, telling Clarice that it was time to get up. After making coffee, she sat in her favourite chair near the book shelf, with the steaming cup of coffee in her hand; she was starring at a box standing on the desk in the other end of the room. Go for it Clarice, the contents of that box is not hunting, it is part of your life. Clarice got up and walked to desk. Her hand travelled over the lid, until she opened it. Her hand touched the black silk dress, remembering that faithful night where her life was turned up side down. She lifted the dress out of the box and it revealed the Gucci shoes and some letters where Lecter's copperplate handwriting was on. And finally the destination of her hand was reached, she took out a small packaged, brown paper packing. Clarice returned to her chair package in hand. Several minutes had passed, when Clarice began to unwrap the package in her hand, the paper gone Clarice sat with a harpy, and not just any harpy but Hannibal Lecter's harpy the one she suspected had killed Pazzi in Florence. She had found it in Krendler's house left on the dinner table as if it was a gift for her. She should have turned it over back then, but she couldn't, she didn't owe them anything. Clarice spoke out loud as if addressing a figure of her imagination "how would you think of me now Dr. Lecter hmm? My cheap shoes and your harpy" Clarice close her eyes for a moment weighing the knife in her hand, it felt so natural it almost scared her. "Is that suppose to be funny Clarice?" Clarice looked at the knife and held it up in the light, "yeah Clarice, you are frighten of what you might do," Clarice admitted to her self and her room. "But you find perfectly normal to be in love with a cannibal?" Clarice smiled to her self but let the question unanswered, she put the knife down on a shelf in front of Dante's Inferno and turned on the music and went to the bathroom which had a nice bathtub she used fairly often.  
  
A/N Am I going to fast for you? Or is the story slow? Please do tell me. I have no idea where I am going since this is my first Hannibal fic, so you might wonder what is keeping him... hmmmm good things to those who wait. Hoping to have the next chapters up tomorrow, if not sooner. Ta ta 


	7. a ghost in the opera

Clarice emerge from the bathroom some time later, she was warring her bathrobe. Time to get some work done. Clarice thought and changed the music to Mozart's requiem and walked over to her desk, she put away the box and turned on her laptop. Clarice spent all her Sundays preparing the next week's work, who should have which case and so on. It was boring; paper work had never been her, she wanted to be in the field. She had been trilled when Crawford had given her a chance back then, she had had no idea what she was getting her self into, but looking back on it now, she knew that she had never belonged there, Lecter was right about it, but when she looked in the mirror, she didn't see what he had told her, no she saw a woman in a corn field with a lamb in her arms and she was running away, that would stop now. Clarice looked at the stack of papers. Yes it would stop. Clarice got to work.  
  
Sunday also meant, going to the opera, Clarice never got tired of it. But this evening she wanted to do something special. So after her bath with Lavender oil she took out the black silk dress and the Gucci shoes and a necklace she had bought some years before. When she was finally dressed she looked in the mirror, there was a beautiful looking woman, no lambs or cornfields.  
  
Clarice called for a cab to take her to the Opéra. They were performing Le Nozze Figaro and there weren't a single ticket left. Luckily over the years Clarice had been there so often that she made friend with the ticket sale assistant. A nice old lady who seemed lonely. Sometimes after a show they would go out for coffee, they talked about everything. Clarice later learned that the lady had been at top of the social latter, but her husband was accused of murder and was sent to prison where he had killed himself to prove that he was innocent. He had left a wife and two children behind. They had later changed their names, but she had kept her given name Lura.  
  
Lura had since their friendship hold a ticket for the Sunday shows. Lura always managed to get her a ticket in a booth, where there was no one but her self. Clarice valued her privacy under the concerts.  
  
Clarice could feel the men's eyes on her, and the voice of Hannibal Lecter was back in her head. "don't you feel eyes moving over your body?" But Clarice did not mind. If they knew who she was, it would end, no one wanted to touch her, she was marked by Hannibal Lecter, a monster in the eyes of the public, she had thought coming to a different country would change that view, but she should have known better. As long as HE was at large there would never be another man, did she want that? Did she want that husband and child she had given up to married to the FBI? Clarice found her seat, as the bell told people to find their seats. The lights where lowered and darkness descended around Clarice as on the others. No she had changed, she wouldn't settle for a normal boring life, she couldn't even if she had the chance, she had felt liberty, and the cost had been, WHAT Clarice, what was the cost? Hmm your soul? No Clarice, you lost you soul the moment you looked into those maroon eyes in the dungeon.  
  
As the concert began Clarice felt something cold run down her back. No he couldn't be here. Clarice thought to her self, she started looking around trying to spot him in the dark. After all that time, no it couldn't be him. "It couldn't be" Clarice said out loud as if convincing her self of that fact. She could not see him anywhere. 


	8. knowing her

On the floor in the opera, was a man, Dr. Leonard Resou, his hair was dark and low trimmed, his eyes shone in the dark as did his teeth, her wore a black Armani suite and a silk white shirt. This was of cause Hannibal Lecter. He also felt something, a feeling that he knew was Agent Starling. Ex special Clarice Starling, what might you do here my little Starling hmmm? Lecter also looked discretly around, but he could not see her, yet he knew she was here. Hmm might you have taken to your mother whom cleaned motels, might you my little Starling work here?hmm. Lecter closed his mind off and concentrated on the music. For where she here, he would find her soon enough, but what might she be doing in Paris? 


	9. murder one

Clarice suddenly felt like she had to get out, she left her seat and the building and went for some fresh air. Clarice didn't notice how fare she had walked untill the pain in her feet was regeoniced in Clarice's brain, she looked around and found her self in a garden. She found a bench and sat down ro remove her shoes. Clarice didn't care what people thought, she began to walk again with out her shoes on, she was intent on finding a cap to take her home.  
  
Clarice did not walk fare when she got a feeling that someone was following her. She knew that it couldn't be Dr. Lecter, the person was too clumsy, no there was more then one now, probaly 2 or 3. Clarice reached in her purse and found the comforting feeling of the hary in her hand. She had desided against her 45. it was easier to conseal the harpy.  
  
Clarice took two steps more, readying her self for what to come.  
  
Two men jumped infront of her, they couldn't have been more then twenty years old. They started speaking in French, Clarice again started playing the tourist. " I.. I don't understand" I should have been an actor, they would have given me an Oscar. "Give us your purse unless you want to get hurt lady" they had a nasty look in their eyes. Clarice knew that the purse wouldn't do it, no their eyes burned, they wanted something else. She tried to hide her contempt for them, and contiued her play, she rather enjoyed their ignorence. "please don't hurt me" Clarice said while preparing to hide the harpy in her hand. One of them jerked the purse out of her hand, Clarice had succede in hinding the harpy. They spoke french again while looking at her, a desision was being made. The one closest to her graped her arm. "Listen if you scream we'll kill you." To underline his statement, his partner pulled out a knife. Clarice changed in that moment. No more playing, what a shame. Clarice looked into his eyes, behind her eyes was a fire of her own.  
  
Before he knew what hit him, he was unconciues and Clarice was upon the other, knocking him out as well. Clarice looked around, there was not one human being in sight. What to do now Clarice... A plan was forming in her head. Here she had the perfect uppotunity. She didn't want to be vulgar, no of that HE would disaprove, yet it should be something fitting for them.  
  
Clarice took of her stockings, and draged one of the to a tree, she tied him up, the other she arrenged on the bench where the friend at the tree could see him. She tied him as well so that he couldn't move either feeds, head or hands.  
  
The one at the tree began to stir. Oh goody he's awake, now the fun begins.  
  
Clarice walked over to the kid, and looked at him, she had already planed for the fact that he would began shouting, but she wanted to talk first. "good evening" Clarice said in her most bidding tone. " I am afraid that we never got around to being proberbly intruduce. I am Clarice Startling and you are?" at first he didn't say anything, he looked at Clarice in disbelief, as if trying to understand some of what is going on. "Hmm that is rude you know, believe me, you wouldn't want to try my patience. Now, tell me your name" To make her point she hold the harpy up in the moon light, that aprently made him remember that he had a toung. "my name is Vincent, where is my friend is he okay" He was scared, his voice trembled. "Your friend is fine vincent" Clarice moved out if his line of sight so that he could see his friend on the bench. "Now Vicent, it wasn't a very nice thing to do, robbing a woman, less to say wanting to rape her. Vincent started to studder, his words and their meaning run out in the sand. "I am afraid that I will have to make an exsample, I really detest rude people Vincent." Vincent was really scared now, yet he again manged to find his voice. "What are you going to do?" Clarice smiled. The other started to wake up. Clarice knebled Vincent's mounth and went to the bench.  
  
"Good evening" Her voice was as social and forth coming as she had been with Vincent. "We didn't seem to get introduced before, I am Clarice Starling and you are?" Instead of an answer he tried to get loose, he was angry, and in his eyes there was nothing but pure hatred. "I wouldn't do that, you see, I tied them rather well, something I picked up when I was a girl scoute, now would you please tell me your name" Clarice's voice was comanding now, yet it did noting to impress the kid lying on the bench. "Oh I see, you would like to be rude, well it doesn't really matter."  
  
Clarice silence him again, showed him the harpy and cut open his t-shirt. "I am afraid that this is going to hurt" Clarice said with a smile.  
  
When she was finished with Vincent's friend, she simply cut Vincent's throth and left the small park and walked home as the new day was shining it's gray light over Paris. 


	10. going home

When Clarice got home, she took a quick shower and changed to jeans and a shirt. No time for coffee this morning, she called a cab and got off to her office.  
  
Her office building was a much to look at, it was almost a shed, Clarice didn't care though, it was as good as any. Outside the small building was a news stand, Clarice bought two newspapers, American post and the local Paris news Clarice still liked to know what was going on in the States, and she bought the National Tattler for fun, they had a way to make her day lighter knowing that they would no more bother her.  
  
She had 6 employees, as she liked to call them. All was there when she arrived, it didn't take her long to giver them their weeks jobs, and she found her place behind her desk. The papers were in front of her.  
  
She had to admit that she was interested in knowing if they had written anything about her, and her little nightly adventure.  
  
Clarice took the local paper, and sure enough she was front news, except from the fact that word Dr: Hannibal Lecter was credited for her handy work. Well well, that HE isn't going to like. If that was him in the Opera last night I am sure that there will be some fun in the town, but it wouldn't be the first time, some one wrote the he had killed when it wasn't him, hmm the journalist of cause never wrote again.. my my, I think that there will be some fun for all.  
  
Clarice wasn't interested in what they wrote, or the guessing motives, she read the other newspapers and threw them out. And continued to the post. There were the usual bills, it was a dread. Her eyes fell on a offer to buy her agency, a rather nice offer. Maybe it was time to move on. You find it boring already. You have to venture out looking for danger to have some fun. Why don't you admit that you miss it? Miss what? Hmm your games with Lecter. Because I don't. Don't lie, I can have my own fun, I don't need him, no? But you still miss him. How many times have you not wondered how your life would be on the run with HIM hmm? "STOP IT" Clarice almost shouted, she looked at the offer again and called the number on the paper arranging a meeting with the buyer.  
  
Later that evening when she was home in her sparsely furnished apartment, she was unemployed; oh he had offered to keep her on, with a nice salary. She thanked him no and left him with the check in hand, it hadn't taken her long to sign the papers. She was free again. But you are a free murderer. By all right you belonged in a cell locked up and parade around as a monster. What would you Daddy think? He's dead he doesn't think anymore, it's my life I am free to do as I please. And I think it's time to return to Washington and have a little meeting with Nanoon, I am sure he'll be glad to see me. Clarice smiled again. She booked a ticket and packed her bags. Just a small trip, how long would it take? Planning murder now are we? Oh I wouldn't call it murder, hmmm no rather a favor, and it would give me a chance to meet with Ardelia. I really should ease up.  
  
Clarice left for Washington the following morning, after giving Ardelia a Call to ask if she could stay at her place for a few days. Ardelia agree saying that she was looking forward to them spending some time together and have some fun in town; even though she was married it wouldn't stop her from reliving good old times. Clarice smiled at that, leave it Ardi to make you have a good time and you where sure to have it. 


	11. old friends

When Clarice arrived at Washington airport, she was met by Ardi, her husband steve and their younger girl mary. There was a strange tension between them. In the years that had passed since Clarice had moved to Paris, Ardi and Clarice hadn't talked very much, Clarice had called Ardi a few times and vice versa. But the close friendship they once had, was gone, instead there was the feeling that a distant relevative whom you hadn't seen for years was coming for a visit. They all went out to the parked car. And for the duration of the drive it was only Mary who was talking about what went on outside the windows of the car.  
  
The car pulled up infront of a subbourbe house, the kind where the neighbours, looked after your kids if you weren't home, and came around for a cup of coffee. How nice. Clarice thought. Just the place for a family. Ardi invited Clarice inside, and showed her, her room. Clarice began unpacking and Ardi left to make coffee.  
  
When Clarice came down, some time later, she learned they where alone in the house, steve had taken mary to some friends.  
  
"there you are" Ardi welcomed her. "yes" Clarice sat down, and Adri sat two steaming cups of coffee on the tabel and sat down herself. "so, how'v you been Clarice is Paris every thing they say it is?" Ardi was desprate to clear the tension between them, whit idle chit chat. "I've been fine, I just sold my buisness, and Paris is quit lovely this time of year, just before all the tourist comes and fill the city and the café's, you should go there some time" Clarice sounded light, with the memory of what she had done before she left for Washington. Did I run, trying to get away from what I had done? I'ved killed four people, so much for the guiness book of records, i they only knew, but why? To silence the lambs? Yes, yes that's it, to be free, this is who I am. I am a killer, but was I born or made that way.  
  
Clarice was so lost in thought that it was first when Ardi put a hand on her shoulder that she woke of from her deep thought. "Girl where were you?" Ardi asked when concern. "Are you okay?" "Yes I'm fine, I was just thinking about something" Ardi looked at Clarice, as if she wasn't really believing her. Ardi aparently desided to let the matter drop. And the silence descended upon the once again.  
  
It was Ardi who again broke the silence. "Clarice, I don't know if you've heard, but there's been reported sightings of Dr. Hannibal Lecter in Paris, the local police even suspects that he killed two young men, in a park." Ardi's voice had gotten serious. "I've heard, I read it in the papers. But I highly doubt that it's him, after all why would he kill them? As fare as I can see, there was no reason for the murder, that doesn't seem like Dr. Lecter, that is, if the FBI." Clarice said it with such contempt that it didn't pass by Ardi. " knows something I do not, it wouldn't surpraise me." Ardi took this as a cue. "they do Clarice, and I'm worried about you, what if he comes after you again?" there was geniuen concern in her voice. Adri looked down at the table as she continued. "but that's not all, the FBI wants" Ardi, stopped as if she knew she had use a wrong word. " they would like you on an free lance base to hunt Dr. Lecter down, you'll get all the benefits of cause." Ardi looked at Clarice, as if to let her know that, that was the offer. Ardi waited for the answer, even though she already knew the answer. Clarice took a deep breath. "Ardi, you already know the answer to that. The FBI have fucked me for the last time, and Dr. Lecter is not my problem anymore." There was anger in her voice, Ardi couldn't decide whether it was because of the offer or the reminder that she once had worked for FBI. "Clarice, don't you want to catch him?" Clarice looked at Ardi, the anger was gone. "no, look where it got me the last time, this time, Krendler might not be around to bother me, but I don't think Nanoon is any better, if they want to catch him they'll have to do it by them selves, I am out, and I am on vacation, so could be please drop it?" "Sure Clarice, so what do you want to do?" The tension was back, Clarice could feel that Ardi didn't approve of her decssion of letting down her former employer. "hmmm let's watch a movie. The syncronice everything in France. You try getting use to Sean Connery speaking French." That was what it took to get the tension away. Clarice and Ardi was again the friends that had been before she quit the FBI and moved to France.  
  
And so was the next few days spent, laughing, talking and having a good time. Ardi didn't bring the FBI up nor Hannibal Lecter.  
  
A/N okay I know, it's a bit slow. But I hope to be speeding things up... and you might wonder why I don't give the good doctor more space, but don't worry he'll be along very soon.  
  
All good things to those who wait. Ta ta 


	12. homewards

Ardi had to return to work, so Clarice had the house for her self, it was time to make a decision on what she should do about Nanoon. He really was a pain in the ass, but is he worth the trouble? Hmmm it would be fun, and I should get more fun out of life. Hmmm I know what fun I would like, so why don't start there in stead? Yes, but there is a lot of heat on him, so I have to lure him out, and if he indeed are in France, it should be easy, simply credit his work, soon it enough he would have to put a stop to it.  
  
Clarice got out of her chair and went to her room to pack. But how will he stop me? Will he kill me? Will he give me another chance to rethink me answer... I don't think he is high on second chances Clarice. But that kiss. It burns, would it not be better to be dead then live with the memory of a kiss that burns so much.  
  
So Dr. Lecter it's time for a game, my game. And the stakes are high...  
  
When Ardi got home, Clarice's bags in the hall met her. Ardi walked into the kitchen. Surprise to find Clarice there. "Are you going somewhere Clarice" Ardi knew it was an oblivious question, yet she wanted to ask. "it's time to go home, I have been here long enough" "So are you going back to Paris?" " That's home to me, maybe you'll visit me?" it was an invitation, yet Clarice knew it would be the last time they saw one another, what they had once share was long gone, separated by time, and foremost by choices made. "Yes that would be nice." Ardi wanted to warn her; she was worried about her, what if Lecter was in Paris. "Clarice" Ardi didn't know what to say. "Clarice, please reconsider that, what if he is there?" the look from Clarice silenced her. "Ardi, if he was there, he would have found me a long time ago, and he didn't. I have not been living in hiding, and Ardi if he wanted to find me, he would have, a long time ago." It was a conclusion and with that there was a knock on the door.  
  
"That would be the cap driver, it's time to go. Give me a call sometime." Clarice hugged Ardi, and on her way out the door, the final good bye. "Give me best to Steve and Mary"  
  
Clarice sat on the plane thinking how she should lure Dr. Lecter out.  
  
A/N well I hope I will get it started and have some action for you. And don't worry it would seem Clarice have a mind of her own as to when she will get to see the good doctor.  
  
Ta ta 


	13. home again

Even though Clarice had only been gone for a few days, she felt that Paris was filled with tourists. She was relieved when she was in the comfort of her apartment. She put coffee over and took a long bath.  
  
Ardi wasn't the same, or is it me? Have I really changed that much? Maybe I have. Or maybe I have always been like this, but only now do I see it, only now do I let out. The water was getting cold, Clarice got up. Took a towel around her, and looked in the mirrow. Gone was the old Clarice, the Clarice wanting to do eveything to get all the way in the FBI, wanting her father's dead approval of the things she did. The image in the mirrow, was what Clarice had looked for all her life, and now she was on the path with a purpose. "To catch a crook you gotta be one." Clarice said out loud.  
  
Clarice sat at her desk, her laptop was on, the blue light from the screen was reflected on her face.  
  
So I can't contact him, hmmm. Clarice continued to surf though the information highway, looking for leads as to where he might be. I know he was at the opera, now could he have left Paris since then? No, no I don't think so, he waits to see if the killer will repete his deeds. So I would have to do it again. Hmm a killer by nature. So to find a victim, someone who deserve it.  
  
Clarice got up and and went over to her stereo it was time for Goldbergs variactions. The harpy was as it was left after it's first murder by the hands of Clarice. She looked at Dante's inferno, and remembered the passage, Abandon all hope ye who enters in. Was that where she was going? To hell? But she had hope, hope of love, of finding out where she belonged, home is where the heart is.  
  
Several days later, it was once again Sunday, it was 2 weeks since she found out that Lecter had been in Paris, but since then, she had done nothing, Clarice had no idea as to how she should proceed. She had learned that the police, had credited the two murders to Dr. Hannibal lecter. The reason had been that several people had told the police that they had seen him, the fine cuts also showed when compared to the reports the FBI had, that it might well had been a harpy. When the police was asked about the stockings they simply stated that it must have been on the viticms when Dr. Lecter had found them. The police aprently thought that they where cross dressers or gays. The police seemed only to willingly to get their hands clean, and blamening Dr. Lecter would also mean that if they never craked the case they where on dry land.  
  
They had the airports on alert, but after a week they had given up, he was gone. The papers had found new things to write about and the world continued as if nothing had happened.  
  
Clarice knew that is was time to move, silence before the storm. They would be looking for a him not a she, this helped her, now, it was only to get Dr. Lecter to follow her.  
  
Clarice had found a buyer to her apartment it didn't take long, aparently there was a shortege on housing. Clarice had instead bought a small contry house in Italy not fare from Florence, it hadn't cost her much, and there was still the money she had from the sale of her "agency" She had about 2 weeks, to lure Lecter out and get him to follow her to Italy. Clarice wasn't sure that it would be possible, after all he was the one who use to play with people, and Clarice was just beginning. Still she was sure that she would have alot fun, wheather it would the last she would ever had was yet to be discovered. Clarice knew she was playing with fire, but that wouldn't stop her. She was tired of the life she had, there was nothing to satisfy her the lest, even the short stay with Ardi and her family had told her that. Clarice would never again run from who and what she was and is. It was time to chekmate Dr. Lecter. 


	14. a night out

Clarice stood in her apartment, everything except from her stereo and her cd's was packed, she was ready. She had the harpy in her hand. Tonight she had a ticket for a concert with the Berlin philharmonic orkester. She looked forward to it. it was to be full house. She again had dressed in the black silk dress and he gucci shoes. In her purse there was the harpy and her credit card a bottle and a white cloth and a note.  
  
It was time to go, the cab was waiting for her, before going though the door she took one last look in the mirror, but instead of herself she saw Dr. Lecter as he had greeted her back in Baltimore. And his metalic voice rang in her ears. "Good evening Clarice" she had never been afraid of him, no, she saw something that no one else had seen, she saw understanding.  
  
The concert was great, though she couldn't feel that Dr. Lecter was there, maybe he had moved on. But that didn't stop Clarice. Now it was time to find a date, if that was what she could call it. hmm, she needed to pick someone up, preferable some one rude. Clarice took her place in the concert hall's bar and waited. She didn't have to wait long before offers came rolling in. But Clarice, still waited, all the offers that had been made, was by gentelmen until some time later, a man with a German acent talked to her, from behind her back, Clarice had known about his present for some time, but he was seemingly contempt by looking down on the low cut dress.  
  
"so are you waiting for someone?" Clarice fight down the erge to laugh, what a lusy pick up line, but she desided that if this was to work she had to keep the tone light. "no not really, I was just enjoying my wine." Clarice turned around and looked at a middle aged man, he had no hair on his head, he was dressed in a rather cheap suit that was wornout ages ago. She showed him her half empty glass, as a invitation for him to buy her another.  
  
"So you wouldn't mind the company?" his voice was sooting. "no not at all." Clarice desided to be direct. "Perhaps you wouldn't mind if we went somewhere else? Perhaps more private?" Clarice that it would be enough to get him to invite her home to him. "well I do have a nice bottle of wine at my place, if you don't think that would be too private." He put a hand on her shoulder, and she could almost smell his lust for her.  
  
"no I do think that would be just perfect. My name is Clarice." Clarice looked at the man waiting for his answer. "Clarice, what a pretty name, but you are not from France?" "no I move here some time ago, I come from the USA. You do not wish to tell me your name?" Clarice tried to hide her annoyance, and put on the innocence school girl act, and it seemed to work. "oh yes of cause my name is Torsten, and as you have probaly guess I'm not from France either, I'm from Germany, so let's go to my place shall we?" "sure lets go"  
  
On their way out Torsten put his arm around her, making sure that his thomb could carress her back free of the fabric that covered the rest of her body. He couldn't wait to get her in to bed, the sooner the better, he simply couldn't believe his luck. She had to be a slute, and if she tried to get money from him he would simply throw her out.  
  
They walked to his apartment, since it wasn't fare away. When they reached the building it was a old building from the start of 1900 century. So he wore old suites, but aperently he had money. They hadn't spoken a word as they walked and now they were outside his door there was still not said a word.  
  
They took the elevator up to the 3. floor where he unlocked the door and welcomed her in. "I'll just get the wine make your self comfortable" and he was gone. Clarice took the white cloth and the bottle out from the purse, and pured the contense out on the cloth. Ready to make her move, she waite until he again entered the room. When he put the wine on the table Clarice went up behind him and put the cloth over his mouth, she had no difficulty keeping it there, her FBI training was a benefit.  
  
When he passed out, clarice went around in his apartment looking for a rope. She found it along with some ducktape and a tool box. Clarice then went to the kitchen where she took a chair and returned to the living room. 


	15. a perfect murder

When Torsten came around he found himself tied to a chair and unable to move, in a chair across him sat the woman he had brought with him home, a glass of wine in her hand and a smile on her lips. It was Clarice who spoke first.  
  
"Good evening Torsten, I trust you slept well" her tone was light and chit chatter. "What the hell is going on, you cut me loose this instant." His voice was filled with anger, and he tried to get loose, but he stayed where he was. "No, sorry can't do that." He suddenly saw a fire in her eyes that he hadn't noticed before, and he knew that he wouldn't make it out of here alive. "Look if you cut me loose I promise not to call the police, I will let it drop, you can take what ever you want, just get out of my apartment." Clarice could hear that he was on the edge of despair, she wondered if he would start crying soon. "Hmm what makes you think that you have anything that I want?" it was a simply and logical question, she wanted to see how fare he could go before he broke down. Clarice sat her glass on the table. "I.... I please just leave." He didn't break, but he wasn't fare from tears. "No. Look I can't do that, you see, you do have something that I can use or are in great need of." Torsten sensed hoped. "What is that, I'll give you anything." Clarice smiled again. "You are very kind, I need for you to be dead." His face lost all color, and tears started to fall.  
  
"Now, now." Clarice's voice was comforting. "Perhaps if I told you why. Would you like to hear?" Torsten was shaking his head he was in denial. And he started to shout for help. Clarice was fast; she slapped him once, which seemed to do the trick for now. "There is no need for you to be rude. So would you like to hear why?" she returned to the talk she was about to have with him like nothing had happen, like there was noting unusual about the whole situation.  
  
"You see, I need to catch up with a certain person, and the only way to do that is by doing this, I do want to thank you for volunteering for it." Clarice moved to the window and looked out, there were none there, and the street was empty this time a night. "Tell me, have you have heard the name Clarice Starling?" there was silence. "No? Well I am sure that you have heard the name Hannibal Lecter?" just when Clarice thought he had lost all color he managed to get even whiter. He started babbling. "I see you do. Well, he is the one whom I am trying to get in contact with, unfortunately I can not write to him, so I need a messenger, and your it, it's really so nice when people help one another, don't you think?"  
  
Clarice was wondering how she should proceed. She was set on a similar show like the one Dr. Lecter had with Pazzi in Florence. But she had taped him to a chair and how was she to get him out of that chair? Hmmm, if he was in the chair it would look clumsy not something Dr. Lecter would do, and I do need for him to take an interest. Hmmm I could take him out if he tried anything.  
  
Clarice tied the rope to piping near the floor and made a knot in the other end. She then dragged the chair over to the window put noose around Torsten's neck.  
  
"Okey dokey. Now, if you promise to behave I will cut you loose, what do you say?" Clarice smiled again, her face showed the intention of cutting him loose. So Torsten nodded. Clarice took out the harpy and cut the tape. To her surprise he didn't try to jump her, he simply stood. Moments past. "Would you please leave now?"  
  
Clarice made her move. Before Torsten ever sensed what was going on, Clarice had moved the harpy across his abdomen and pushed him out the window.  
  
Clarice then, wiped the glass and everything else that had her prints, and she was gone. Clarice knew that this time, it wouldn't be Dr. Hannibal Lecter they where looking for, but a female, and she suspected it would soon fall on her. Clarice only hoped that the murder would lead Dr. Lecter to Florence, it was there the original murder had been committed.  
  
Clarice sneaked out by using the fire escape, the people that was out this time a night was busy looking at the dead man hanging with his bowls out. Clarice disappears out into the night. 


	16. taking the bait

Hannibal Lecter had been in Paris for well a month now. He had settled in an old hotel, extravagant of cause, but still a place where he could have his privacy. Lecter had been out looking or rather wandered the streets to see if he could find any trace of Clarice, yet he had been unsuccessful, in stead, he had been pinned with two murders that he hadn't had anything to do with. It was a great irritation to him.  
  
He poured him self another glass of Château l'yuem, and savored it's aroma. In front of him was the usual stack of papers. He was vaguely interested in the headlines until he saw local paper.  
  
A Lecter copycat on the loose.  
  
That caught his attention. Someone was trying to be him? As Lecter read the paper he was for the second time in his life speechless and utterly surprise. The local police thought that is was Clarice Starling.  
  
  
  
Former FBI agent Clarice M. Starling, are suspected for the killing of Torsten Manhüsen last night. Manhüsen was killed similar to Commander Pazzi of the Italian Police 5 years ago. The police have witness' whom have claimed to have seen Starling leave the concert hall earlier last evening, and she has also been seen near the crime scene.  
  
The article continued, but Lecter had stopped reading. So she was at the opera. What are you up to my little Starling, Hmm, are you trying to get my attention? If so you have certainly got it. Fly fly little Starling, I can't help but wonder what have made you do this, as intriguing as it is.  
  
Lecter sat down his glass and put the newspaper on the table. And retrieved to his memory palace.  
  
Several hours later, Lecter was watching the local news on TV.  
  
"The stolen vehicle was found just near the Spanish border, Interpol has now taken the case, and is currently watching all international airports. The police suspects that Clarice M. Starling is trying to get back to the USA." Lecter pushing the off switch silenced the female voice on the TV.  
  
Lecter now knew that Clarice was not on her way Back to the USA, rather giving him a lead to follow, and he knew where she was headed. Lecter debated with him self whether or not he should follow her. Though he knew it wouldn't be a trap. But he had no idea what she was up to. The last time they met, she had made it perfectly clear that she did not want his offer, so maybe she would just like to kill him.  
  
So Clarice was ready to commit murder, I wonder how fare she is willing to take it, though she did do such a nice job on Manhüsen. So the masters she served are gone, who have then taken their place, whom does she serve now? Hmm now there's a thought.  
  
Lecter booked a flight to Florence he did love to his little games with Clarice, and though it was rather obvious to take a flight, he wanted to be there as soon as possible, if Clarice have had 3 days to run in, she would be close to Italy now, if she wasn't already there. 


	17. a new home

Clarice arrived at her little house in the country, she had been on the run for 3 days, she had left the clues she thought would get Lecter's attention, now she could only wait and make her self comfortable. She would have to drive to Florence sometime soon, giving him the last lead, and to stock up her refrigerator, there was nothing there except from the things she had bought while on her way.  
  
When she arrived at her new home, she for the first time in days relaxed, oh it had been fun to see how fare she could go, have much she could push her self. And now she was here, she had driven though two countries, and was at her new home for however long it would be. The trunk of her car had her few belongings, the rest of her stuff from her apartment in Paris she had sent to the states, so that it couldn't led them to her new home.  
  
Clarice wondered how Ardi would look when all the boxes came to her, with a note saying good-bye. She would have like to know, but it was behind her. And her future was ahead of her.  
  
The facade of the house, was old, the house could use painting. The house had two floors, and a Terrace. The house was in a bad condition, but Clarice had bought for the kitchen, the bathroom, the wine cellar and the open fireplace. The rest of the house could be fixed up, and it would look like a mansion. Clarice could image her self-growing old there, but the thought of Dr. Lecter being had not crossed her mind. Clarice got of the car and walked into the house, taking a look around.  
  
A few hours later she was settle in, and Clarice took a long bath, while wondering what her next move should be. Next on her agenda list was food, she had barely eaten for the past days. Clarice was glad that she had stopped at grosser and bought enough to fill her fridge and pantry. She had preordered pots and pans. But the house was still short on necessities; she would have to buy what she needed in Florence when she would go into town.  
  
Clarice went into the kitchen wanting to make an omelet, but was too fatigued to think about it, instead she took a bottle of wine and a glass and went out in the garden where she sat and relaxed in the afternoon sun, that was slowly diapering behind the mountains in the background.  
  
Clarice could feel, the affects of the alcohol, she should have eaten first. "Great Clarice now you tell your self to eat. Clarice began to feel dizzy and the alcohol clouded her mind, she left the bottle and glass in the garden and step by step found her way to the closet bed where she could lie down and sleep all the tiredness away. 


	18. the sweet smell of home

Hannibal Lecter arrived in Florence, and Lecter inhale the city's familiar smell, it was home. It did take Lecter long to get a room in a four star hotel.  
  
Some time Lecter was sitting in a small cafe, enjoying his espresso, tourist was walking by, in a hurry to see it all before the had to return home. Lecter looked at them; every face had a written expression. Lecter wondered if Clarice was here already and how the game would end. He had to admit that he had no idea, and he enjoyed it, no one could continue to surprise him this way. But he also had to admit that he would like it to end, he didn't like not being in control.  
  
He decided to enjoy the day and relax, maybe he would go shopping, but first another cup would be refreshing. 


	19. preparing

Clarice awoke from a deep dreamless sleep, but with a banging headache. Would she ever learn? At the moment she didn't think so.  
  
There was allot she needed to day. But first of she really needed to have breakfast. Her stomach was getting more and more loud to a point where she couldn't think of anything else.  
  
When Clarice had had breakfast, she started to clean the house; it took her several hours before she was satisfied with the result. The sweat was running from her head, just as the daily runs she took. Sadly she hadn't had time, and now she could get her workout from cleaning.  
  
His voice again crept into her head, how he had mocked her, her mother for what she was, and now the irony of it all came back full force. It was getting well past noon and if Clarice hoped to get any shopping done, she would have to drive into town now. She looked forward to seeing if it was as she had imaging.  
  
She was glad that she had taken out all the money on her credit card and cashed the rather large check, even the house wasn't bought in her name, Clarice had made sure that there where no leads in Italy for them to follow. Not yet anyway. Clarice smiled.  
  
She took her purse filled with cash and the harpy, it was all she needed. It was time for the final draw, the one that would checkmate Dr. Lecter.  
  
Clarice was determined to call him that, even after all she'd done, she would wait till he gave her permission to call him by his first name. But how sweet shall it not be?  
  
At that moment, Clarice longed for the company of Dr. Lecter more then anything else, the FBI was fading raptly, it was a distant dream, not just a dream but a bad nightmare, why had she let self get used in the manner that she had? It was beyond her comprehension. What you won't put up with because you think that it's where you belong.  
  
Her lips began to burn with the remembrance of their last meeting. Would she ever say she was sorry? "NO, I'm not sorry, I needed the time, I needed to see for my self." Clarice was surprise at the fact she had spoken it out loud.  
  
As if it was a cue, Clarice went to her car, and drove towards Florence. 


	20. worry

Dr. Lecter was getting concerned, he had been in Florence for nearly 4 days, and still there had been no sign of Clarice. Maybe she didn't make this fare, but if she were caught he would have heard it on the news, no, she had to be there.  
  
Lecter would want no harm to come over Clarice, in some strange way he had fallen in love with her, from the first instant that he had seen her. 5 years ago he given everything up to come back for her, to watch her run, he had hoped she would run with him, but she surprised him again, by saying no.  
  
Would she ever take my life? No, that she wouldn't, but his freedom, for 10 years he had thought so, but as the cleaver came down, she had screamed, and the plead in her eyes just as he swung begged him to stop. An inch from his hand he directed the hit over the chain of the handcuffs. She seemed relived.  
  
Oh Clarice don't tell me you needed to become a monster in the eyes of the public before you could accept the feelings I have for you, and the feelings you have for me, how well you might try to hide them from others I know what you feel.  
  
Lecter sat down at his favorite cafe and ordered. He looked at the stream of people. For the breathes of seconds he thought he saw her there among all the others, even her sent was in the air, Lecter got up from his seat ready to follow her, he walked across the street to see if she was still there but she was gone. He didn't doubt that she had been there, her scent lingered in the air like a sweet memory. Decided to return to his seat. 


	21. let the games begin with an invitation

Clarice had made sure that he had seen her, but not for long no, she needed the time, the fun wasn't about to end so soon.  
  
She watched as he crossed the street and she got over to where he sat, she saw the espresso cup, yes that would be just like him. Clarice sat the enveloped so it leaned against the cup. She ran her finger along the edge of the cup where his lips had been, and then she was gone. She didn't want to be catched just yet.  
  
When Lecter returned to his seat he found to his surprise an envelope standing on the table next to his cup.  
  
Dr. HL.  
  
Lecter took his seat, and opened the envelope.  
  
Well Dr. Lecter it would seem we meet the strange places would you not agree? Are you up for a game? Yes I think you are, or you would not be here, well maybe you would, you do like it here.  
  
Now back to game.  
  
Lecter had forgotten his espresso and was suddenly reminded when Evian skin cream disrupted his thoughts and her letter. He looked at his cup, and then lifted it up to his nose. Sure enough. Lecter smiled. She couldn't resist could she, that's my girl. Lecter returned to her letter.  
  
If you are game, there is a small house outside Florence, rather nice, a bit old. It is located securely. You drive 45 km vest out of Florence, keep to the main road, and you will see a small country road, you will know which one I am talking about when you see. Take a right turn. And follow my leads.  
  
Clarice  
  
P.S do bring the wine.... And formal attire.  
  
Lecter found the letter rather short yet to the point. So she was going the end the game so soon. But it was an invitation, and it was one he wasn't going to say no to. They could have some fun.  
  
Lecter began to think about which wine he should bring. Oh and defently some flowers...  
  
Lecter was looking forward to their meeting. Even though she did not mention a time frame, he assumed that the time was tonight.. 


	22. having an old frind for dinner

Clarice was glad, that she had gotten around to shopping, she had bought everything that would make it an unforgettable night, or at least she hoped.  
  
She had bought a CD player and some classical CDs, everything she needed for dinner, new sheets for her bedroom and the spare room, and she had even bought her self a new dress and a night gown, and china and scented candles.  
  
Clarice had decided to take a long bath before she would get started on the dinner, she was tense, and had a hard time trying to relax. To she while the water was running in the tub, she lighted all the candles every where in the house and put Goldberg's variations on, she could always relax to that, and she then returned to the bathroom, where she put lavender oil in the water, she put her dress and the shoes, and then slipped into the water.  
  
  
  
Lecter had no difficulty following Clarice's direction. And sure she had been generous with the leads. And short time later he arrived at her house. He parked his car, not too close to the house. When he got out of the car he could hear the music.  
  
He couldn't help but wonder if the music that was chosen was for him or that Clarice had acquired some taste on that area. The sun was beginning to set behind the mountain. The door was wide open. Lecter didn't bother to knock. The music was just a bit high for his taste, but he decided to look around the house first, and then meet Clarice eye to eye, body to body.  
  
When he entered the dinning room he was again surprised, there was candles every where, the music was coming from the dinning room as well. He continued to the kitchen, where he found the entire inventory was new. And when he opened the fridge it was also filled. So she has finally learned to have proper food. He ventured up to the second floor, he could hear water, he found his way to her bedroom, he saw the dress on the bed, and the shoes on the floor. The door to the bathroom was as the front door, open.  
  
Clarice didn't hear him, but somehow she knew that he was in the house. Lecter moved silently into the bathroom. Clarice was so relaxed that it appeared she was asleep. Lecter decided to return to the kitchen, though it was apparent that Clarice wanted to cook, she seemed to have forgotten about time. Dinner won't wait. Lecter thought and went to the kitchen where he began to prepare the dinner.  
  
Clarice became fully aware of his presence when the music was lowered. So he was here, it's time. Clarice got up and started to get dress. Half an hour later she was ready, she went to the stairs, the smell of food reached her nostrils. Oh he beat me to it...  
  
Clarice hear the soft tones of music from the dinning room, the smell of scented candles greeted her, but Lecter was not there.  
  
Clarice decided to stay in the dining room. His metallic voice was in her head once again. "Never ask it spoils the surprise" Clarice also wanted to show him, that she could be patient. She sat her self in the sofa, and simply waited. Her hand concealed his harpy.  
  
She didn't have to wait long.  
  
"Good evening Clarice" she didn't flinch, she simply looked up. He was dressed in a black suit, with a white shirt similar to the one he wore 5 years ago when they last met. "Good evening Dr. Lecter." She smiled. "I am sorry I wasn't there to greet you, I seemed to have forgotten time." He walked over to the set table and poured two glasses of wine.  
  
"So Clarice, you have me truly intrigue, I can't wait to hear why, so please do tell, and I hope I don't need to say it, but don't lie or I'll know." Lecter handed her a glass of red wine.  
  
A/N yeah I know, a weird place to stop, but I thought better now the later, when they are having a little talk. But don't worry I will keep writing so it's bound to be more chapters up very soon. But tell me what you think, I am dying to know.... so where's review???? 


	23. never ask it spoils the surprise

Clarice took the offered wine; she wasn't about to tell him, not right away. "And which part would you be referring to Dr. Lecter?" "Clarice I thought you knew better then to test my patience." Lecter looked down on Clarice, his maroon eyes looked deeply into hers. "Tell me Clarice" this time his voice was commanding, Clarice wondered how fare she could go before.. She didn't even want to think that.  
  
"Dr. Lecter, what would you like me to tell you?" Clarice got up, she needed to be a place where he couldn't look at her like that. She didn't fare, Lecter stopped her with his body. "Clarice" he hissed. Clarice held her breath. No, not yet. Before Lecter knew what happen, Clarice had flinched the harpy and held it at his trout. "Now you tell me Dr. Lecter, why did you come." And to make her point she makes a small cut that drew blood.  
  
"Well I must say Clarice, this I hadn't expected. A bit rude, considering that you invited me here." Clarice removed the harpy, still without looking into his eyes. Clarice walked over to the dinner table, and put the harpy down. "Your right, but then again your always right aren't you doctor?" there was accusation in her voice. Clarice turned and looked into the depths of his eyes.  
  
Lecter saw that it was best to wait. Clarice walked over to him, and looked at the wound that she had caused, the blood was still running ever so slightly. Clarice reached her hand to his neck, and stopped short and inch, when Lecter didn't move she moved her finger the last inch and put it on the wound, she was intrigue, and she wondered how he would tast. It became too much for her, to stay at the thought, she retrieve her finger, his blood running from it, Clarice looked at his eyes again and she tasted his blood.  
  
Lecter stood pinned to the ground, fascinated by Clarice, she had changed, she wasn't afraid of him any more, and she was free from the masters whom she had served before.  
  
Clarice smiled, when she thought about those who had called him a vampire. Clarice suddenly felt a need to break the silence. "Am I wrong in assuming that you were preparing dinner?" Her tone was light.  
  
Clarice, went over to the table, she looked at the harpy. "Tell me Dr, Lecter did you leave it on purpose?" Lecter had walked over to her and stood behind her. "No Clarice, I simply did not have time, which you seem to think I had, at the time. Why don't you sit and I will go and get dinner." Lecter ever the gentleman pulled out her chair and made sure that she was comfortable. And disappeared into the kitchen.  
  
Somehow they got though dinner, with out taking about the serious part, instead they talked about music, and Dante now the Clarice had read it. Clarice, saw for the first time a different side of Dr. Lecter, he wasn't mocking her. Time seemed to stand still while they were talking until. Lecter thought it was time to get his answers.  
  
"Clarice why don't you go sit in the sofa and I'll get the coffee." Clarice was reluctant to do so, she knew what came next, and with the realization of that it hit her full force what she had done, the murders, the lying, and now, she had him here, she had had a chance to kill him but she didn't, not because she couldn't but simply because she didn't want to, she wanted him, almost desperately, and apparently he wanted her as well, he was here after all. Clarice realized that she hadn't thought of what to say, how to explain what she had done, and the level of freedom she had ascertained by doing so.  
  
Lecter appeared from the kitchen with a tray in his hands. Here goes. Thought Clarice.  
  
A/N okay, here's another chapter; I am already working on the next. I hope to have a few more chapters up to day.  
  
Ta ta 


	24. after dinner mint

Lecter put the tray down on the table and poured the coffee. He then sat in a chair opposite Clarice.  
  
Clarice found the warmth from the candles suffocating, and his maroon eyes looked straight at her, he didn't say anything, it wasn't necessary, Clarice knew that he was waiting for her to begin her tale, even though he had probably guessed most of it.  
  
Silence was upon them, Clarice found to unbearable, yet she didn't say anything, the sat looking at each other, once in a while sipping their coffee.  
  
"I don't where to begin." Clarice said after a while. "Tell me Clarice, why did you choose him hmm? Why not another?" It struck Clarice that he didn't know about the four others. It gave her what she needed to start. "Hmm, he wasn't the first you know." Lecter tried to hide his surprise, but Clarice could see it. "Really?" "Yes, there was four others before him, two of which you where credited for." Clarice smiled at the recollection of the newspapers debating if it truly was Lecter.  
  
Lecter smiled at her, a smile that would have frighten any one else, but Clarice felt warm by it. Clarice told Lecter about her agency, and the job where she just fired, the sudden feel of freedom, how the lambs had stop screaming, how she had killed the boys in the park after the opera. Clarice didn't see the light in his eyes as she told about the opera. So she was there. Lecter decided that he wanted to know about the opera.  
  
"Tell me Clarice, how did you feel in the opera." His eyes were on fire. "Like you where there Dr. Lecter, I knew you where there, but I couldn't see you. So I let it go."  
  
Silence was upon them again. Clarice waited for Lecter to make the next move.  
  
Lecter got up from his seat and walked over to Clarice. "Tell me Clarice, are you a monster?" Clarice looked at Lecter for a long time, he had asked her a question that had been in her head for a long time, was she a monster? She had killed, tormented her victims, she had become all that which she had wanted to rid the world off, and now. No the silent answer in her head, said, in all the years that she know Dr. Lecter she had never thought of him as a monster, so was she? Could she be a monster?  
  
"No Dr. Lecter I'm not a monster." Clarice looked at the floor, wondering, thinking. The room disappeared as did Lecter, Clarice was a little girl again, standing at her fathers casket, she was afraid, but there where no tears. She didn't need her fathers approval to be happy, God knows all her life she had tried to do what she thought would make her mommy and daddy proud, but in the last few weeks she had been more free, more happy then she had all her life. So what if she had to kill, she killed the ones she couldn't get as a cop, she killed those who had wronged her, and she was free, she could fly.  
  
Lecter's voice brought her back to the room, back to Him. "Clarice are you okay? Maybe you should lay down, it is after rather late." Clarice looked at the clock it was 2:30 am. Clarice was suddenly very tired.  
  
"Yes it's late, would you care to stay Dr. Lecter, since I didn't get to cook you dinner, maybe I could make you breakfast?" Clarice hoped he wouldn't take it the wrong way; it was no invitation to stay in her bed. Lecter looked at her. "I have a spare room." Clarice stated to make sure that he did indeed understand. "I would appreciate it." But let clean this up first. "NO, I will have none of that, I will take care of it in the morning." Lecter smiled. "As you wish my dear." Clarice showed him the way to the spare room. And after making sure that it was to his liking she began to walk down the hall.  
  
"Clarice, I would like to compliment you on your looks, you look beautiful tonight, I love the dress." Clarice turned. "Thank you Dr. Lecter." Clarice walked down to her room and got undressed. She tried to sleep, but it was impossible, when she knew that he was here in the same house. Clarice imaging him lining in bed, his black and gray haired chest moving with his breaths.  
  
It didn't make it better, she got up and put on her robe and went down stairs to clean up. At least it would occupy her thoughts and hopefully make her tired enough to forget about Hannibal. Clarice couldn't stop her self before her mind had used his first name.  
  
Clarice had to sit down, the simple power his name had over her. 


	25. in need of shrink

Lecter had heard Clarice going down stairs. But when she didn't come back up 2 hours later, he decided to go down and see what she was doing. Cleaning the kitchen couldn't take that long, so there had to be something wrong.  
  
The warmth from the candles was disappearing, leaving only the dark. Lecter had no difficulty in finding his way to the kitchen and sure enough Clarice was there, she sat in her robe lost once again in thought.  
  
Lecter didn't want to disturb her, so he sat quietly at the other end of the table, looking at Clarice and waiting.  
  
The sun had begun to rise, when Clarice returned to the world of the living, in her thoughts she had had a long talk with her old self. She had been shocked to know that Lecter had so much power over her, how much she loved him, and what she would be willing to do for him.  
  
Was she still incorruptible? Yes she was, her values where the same, yet changed somehow.  
  
A thought crept into her mind. I could really, use a shrink, my head is messed up. Clarice burst out laughing, Lecter looked at her thinking she had lost it, what ever it was.  
  
"Clarice?" She tried to stop, but couldn't tears begin to run down her cheeks. Between her laugh and breathing she managed to find her voice. "I'm sorry. I can't stop." The rest was lost in another laugh.  
  
Lecter, was amused, it wasn't anything serious.  
  
Finally Clarice got a hold on her self, she straitened up, and she looked out the window.  
  
"God what time is it?" Clarice was utterly surprised by the fact that it was light out side. "It's 7:54 am my dear." Clarice couldn't hide her despair with her loosing track of time. "I don't know why I keep doing that." "You know Clarice." Lecter put a steaming cup of coffee in front of her and took a seat as well. "You still owe me an answer." Lecter didn't mention the question to which she was in debt, and she knew, she had owed him an answer for 15 years now.  
  
"I know." Clarice looked into the depths of his eyes. "They have screamed for 15 years Dr. Lecter." "And now Clarice, do they scream now." Clarice took a sip of her coffee, savoring its warmth. "Not anymore." They both knew why, Lecter knew her reason to kill. He had seen it in her eyes all those years ago. She had never been meant, for saving the lambs, she had a different destiny. But he couldn't tell her, she had to figure it out for her self, maybe he had set it off 5 years ago, and now she was here, she had sent for him, the only way he would ever response, was if she was free from her former master and with knowledge of what she was capable off. He would never have guess that she 5 lives on her hands, no he had thought that Manhüsen was a call for help, but the further it went he knew it was more. Lecter sighed as Did Clarice.  
  
Clarice dreaded the question yet she needed to ask it. "So what happens now?" Lecter wasn't about to let her off that easy; it was his turn to have his fun. 


	26. bath

Lecter stood and walked over to Clarice. "Now my little starling, you should take a bath, change cloths, I will make you a breakfast." Clarice was about to protest, but she knew even before she open her mouth that she was going to loose that argument. "How long do I have?" An hour should be enough don't you think?  
  
Clarice nodded her reply and left the kitchen in the hands of Dr. Lecter.  
  
Clarice soaked in the water, and fall asleep.  
  
Lecter had arranged it all, but when she didn't come, he went up after, thinking she might be in deep thought. He found her in the bathroom a sleep. He didn't want to wake her since she hadn't slept at all last night, but couldn't let her stay in the cold water much longer.  
  
He took off his shirt, leaving his white tank shirt on, reached down and carried Clarice into bed; he dried her, and was surprised when she didn't wake. He sought trough her drawer and found her nightgown. When he had finished he carried Clarice into his own bed, which was dry. He tugged her in, and watched her sleeping form. He dragged a chair over to the bedside and sat him self down.  
  
She looked so beautiful; her mind wasn't racing, trying to solve the troubles of the world.  
  
It had been several hours, when Clarice to move, Lecter looked at her, she seemed to be dreaming and by the looks of it, it was a nightmare. Clarice whispered something, but Lecter couldn't hear it, he leaned in so he could better hear.  
  
"Dr. Lecter, no no!!!!! Stop." Tears were coming down her cheeks. "Don't die, Hannibal... I love you, please don't leave." Lecter wasn't surprised; it was as he had expected. Clarice continued to move. Lecter couldn't bear it, he went around the bed, and positioned himself next to Clarice.  
  
He was please when she cuddled up to him, and seemed to be at rest. Her bad dream was gone, almost like she could sense his presence besides her. 


	27. sleeping beauty

Clarice was woken by Lecter sitting next to what he thought her sleeping form. Her nightmare was the worst she had had in a long while. Though she had never met Will Graham, it was him that shot Lecter.  
  
When she felt his warmth she cuddled up against his firm body. She whispered low but high enough for him to hear. "I love you Hannibal." Clarice didn't care about her promise to her self earlier, no she wanted to call him by his given name, she felt her self quiver all over her body and she was glad for the fact that she was in bed, even though it was next to a cannibal. Clarice tried to hide her smile but was unsuccessful.  
  
"Your awake." Hannibal asked hiding his surprise as Clarice sat up, her head resting on Hannibal's shoulder. "Yes, you seemed to wake me up." Hannibal, didn't put his arm around her, he simply sat there, enjoying the feeling of having Clarice so close. No bars, no glass wall between them, and they weren't separated by Clarice's former masters. The air in the room was filled with unanswered questions wanting their answers. Yet neither Hannibal nor Clarice seemed willing to ask them or answer them.  
  
"Clarice." Hannibal began. But was for the first time cut off by Clarice. "The answer to you are looking for is yes." Hannibal wanted to say something but Clarice cut him to it. "Dr. Lecter." Hannibal cut her off. "Clarice, I would have hoped that you by now, would call me by given name." Clarice looked down.  
  
She felt her chin being lifted by his gentle fingers. Her eyes met his. His mouth was inches from hers, she could feel his warm breath, but their lips never met. "Say it Clarice." Hannibal hissed. He needed for her to say it. It would be the last line for her to cross. They should no longer be tutor and student, but equals.  
  
Hannibal drew even close. His mouth was at her ear as he again whispered his command. Having him so close, was driving Clarice over the edge, she knew what could happen if she said it. She longed for the release his name would give.  
  
Clarice was afraid that she had lost her voice. "Hannibal... Hannibal" Clarice closed her eyes. "Look at me Clarice." Clarice kept her eyes Close. Not because she wanted to be defiant, but because she was afraid of the lust there was in her eyes, and that he would see it. of cause he would see it. But he hadn't repeated any of that he had said to her at Chesapeake, she didn't know if he still wanted her.  
  
"Clarice you know I don't like repeating my self, and you have tested my patient more the enough for the past few days. Now look at me." Clarice looked at him, there was a silent plea in her eyes, only Hannibal knew it's meaning. "Clarice" Hannibal's voice was thick with lust. "I love you, have done so, since I saw you the first time back in Baltimore. I knew you weren't ready at the time, I thought you were ready when I asked you to run with me in Chesapeake, when you said no, I was for the second time in my life wrong. But I knew then that you loved me, but it was still too soon."  
  
His mouth was again only few inches from her own. But he still didn't kiss her. "Are you ready now Clarice? Hmmm are you here for the right reasons?" Clarice was taken aback, was he still just playing with her? She drew back from him, her anger coloring her face red.  
  
When she found her voice she made no attempt to hide her anger. "You honestly think I here to turn you in, Dr. Lecter?" Clarice got up from the bed, leaving Lecter to him self. "When do you think Dr. Lecter that we will learn to trust one another?" Lecter was at loss for words by Clarice's insight. Had he really asked her that because he still thought she would call her friends from the FBI? He realized he had. They indeed needed to trust each other.  
  
"Clarice." Lecter tried. But too late, she was gone. He only had the warmth from where she been to remind him that they had for a short while shared the same bed. A feeling of sadness came over him.  
  
  
  
A/N Yeah I know I was short yesterday with new chapters, but don't worry here is four for you guys. Read on. Oh I do hope I will have more chapters for you tonight.  
  
Oh right, several have pointed out that I need a beta reader. So here goes, is there any out there, who would like to beta read for me. I would be most grateful if any was up to the job..  
  
MOST WANTED BETA READER. 


	28. hitchhikers beware

Clarice had returned to her room only to find something to wear, she had to get out of the house. What had she been thinking? She should have known better, the two of them having a chance, yeah right. No if they where to have a chance, if would be on his terms. Clarice felt like killing something or someone. She suddenly began to laugh again.  
  
The afternoon air was, just right, it cooled Clarice. She was walking down her driveway, trying to forget her anger. Her thoughts began to move again, she wasn't sure that it was anger she felt, now it was more like desperation, he had been so close but still hadn't kiss her. of cause she should have known, she played with him, it was what she could expect in return. Was it always going to be like this, one always on the top playing with the other, then it would never work, Clarice would rather stand for the abuse the FBI put her though, then knowing she couldn't be the equal of Hannibal Lecter.  
  
Clarice notice a car, hmm must be his. She tried to see if the doors was locked when they weren't she sat her self in the drive's seat. His scent was so strong mixed with his cologne. Clarice sat for a while looking up at her house. Her hands ran over the leather. Oh he had taste. There were no other trace of him in the car, he hadn't left anything behind, Clarice wondered if his fingerprints where there. She took her end of the sleeve and cleaned the car for her fingerprints and left.  
  
She didn't walk back to the house, instead she continued on walking, she felt slight at ease without a weapon to protect her self with. The harpy was still on the table, and her gun, damn she had sent it back to Ardi.  
  
She reached the main road, where several cars passed her by, seemingly in a great hurry. Clarice didn't know where she was going, and she didn't care. All that meant anything to her, was that she didn't have to go back to the house, at this moment in time.  
  
A trucker stopped some meters in front of Clarice. Who ever was in the truck open the door and waited for Clarice to catch up..  
  
Clarice didn't speak Italian, but she guess he was asking if she needed a ride.  
  
The fellow was rather big, and not very appetizing to look at, he was dyeing in need of a shower if that could do it.  
  
"Do you speak English?" Clarice made no move to enter the truck and the ride he so generously offered. "Very Little. You need ride?" His voice was thick with his accent, and though Clarice had some difficulty understanding what was coming out of mouth she really could need a ride, out into no where. His eyes didn't try to hide his lust for her, and Clarice seriously doubted that it would be good, for his health to keep that up, he could die from it. Clarice smiled on the in side.  
  
"Where are you headed?" "Florence" He answered back. Oh great and they say all roads leads to Rome, that's the joke of the century. Well Florence is always a place to start. Rides it seems are plenty. "Sure, I could use a ride." Clarice got in, and the trucker smiled to himself, for the catch of today. He wouldn't stop after a few miles and of cause as many times before asked to be paid.  
  
Had he know who and what he had taken for a ride; he would have changed his thoughts.  
  
A/N Well well well. It's seems our little heroine is having a fun time... tell me how many of you thought the story was about to end??? Hmmmm funny, I don't fell like cutting an end to right away, I'm having soooo much fun. Tell me what you think, and really I could use some ideas for a great ending.... should they have each other or not,,, do tell me, others won't... 


	29. paid for service rendered

The trucker pulled over at a vacant parking lot, they have not even gotten more then a few miles. There didn't seem to be any people in a large, very large area. "What are you doing?" Clarice asked, there was no trace of fear in her voice, she was annoyed, but she had predicted something like this would happen, she had seen it in his eyes.  
  
"What are you going to pay?" Clarice looked at him; she didn't understand what he was saying. "Sorry?" He moved in on her, Clarice fell nausea, and the question of how long it would be before she had to vomit was the only thing on her mind. "You didn't think I would do it for free?" Clarice's anger returned. "Actually I did." He moved even closer. Oh God I think I am going to throw up. Clarice thought. "Got money?" Clarice moved towards the door in an attempt to get away from the smell. "NO, I have no money, not on me anyway, but if you wait here I will go get them for you?" Clarice didn't even try to sound convincingly, he was going to get it, or at lest going to get a shower.  
  
"You think I stupid?" Clarice put the face ME-call-you-stupid- that-will-be-the-day on. "Hey if you don't believe me feel free to come along, I live just up the road. The trucker didn't convinced. Apparently he wasn't as stupid as Clarice had hoped for.  
  
Clarice felt a burn on one of her face, he had, hit her. Clarice tried to get out of the truck, but she wasn't fast enough, he grasped her arm. "Where do you think your going." He kept on talking but in Italian.  
  
Clarice had had it, hitting a young (oh not old) girl, was absolutely rude, and preventing her from leaving was even worse. Clarice cursed her self for leaving without some sort of protection; she was going to do this the hard way.  
  
Clarice managed to lunch her self at the trucker who was taken by surprise. Clarice released several hits at his jaw and liver. While doing so the trucker also got some hits in, but Clarice didn't feel the pain, her furry prevented any sorts of feeling excepts her detest for this low animal whom was considered a human by society, and they had the nerve to call Hannibal Lecter a monster.  
  
The battled ended, leaving Clarice as the victor. Blood was running from her mouth and nose, that had been the target of the trucker's hits and in return the trucker's face, was just as damaged. Clarice returned to her seat and looked at her handy work, then at her hands that was colored red by his and her own blood.  
  
Clarice was exhilarated, she wanted to taste blood but now wasn't the time. Clarice got out of the truck and moved over to the driver side. She managed to push the trucker over so that there was room for her to drive the truck. There's a first for everything. Clarice started the truck and drove it to her home.  
  
A/N He he Clarice driving a truck, can you picture it? I sure can and I find it amusing don't you dear reader? Now I would apologize to those of you who think I have something against truckers I don't I just needed a victim, ouch did I say too much I sure hope not. Please read on, more chapters to come on Clarice's decent to the evil. BE WARE OF THE DARK SIDE... Some one stop me, I'm having fare too much fun.... Don't forget to review.... I love to hear what changes I should make......... 


	30. dinner guest

The time passed to quickly Lecter thought. It was late afternoon, it had almost been 24 hours since he had first arrived, and in that time, he had surely not expected all that has happen. His little Starling was indeed unpredictable, even more, then he had thought.  
  
Lecter was in the kitchen wondering if he should prepare dinner, he had no idea where Clarice was or even if she came back any time soon. But he wasn't worried, if any she could take care of her self.  
  
Lecter found him self, proud of her, he would never have guess that she would put aside her 45. And take up the using of a knife, let alone his knife. She was deadly, no more then ever, yet Lecter still would like to know what had brought it on, it took 15 years. He was truly intrigue, he thought he knew his Starling, knew her beautiful mind and how it worked.  
  
He loved her, she was unique, she was the first who had more then contempt for him, she saw behind the files written by ignorents who knew nothing, she had challenged him in every way that hasn't and she had survive. Lecter would have killed anyone else who had say or done the things she had. His brave little Starling, she had driven the nightmares of Mischa away.  
  
He had thought of giving Mischa Clarice's place in the world, but not anymore. Clarice meant to much to him and the world would be dull if she wasn't in it. Love he had never been in love, he would have thought that he wasn't capable of those feelings, that they were long gone, but they had laid dormant, until that faithful meeting in Baltimore.  
  
Had he changed? NO, she had, but it wasn't to please him, to make it easier for them to be together, she had changed because it was inevitable.  
  
A loud noise disturbed Lecter's thoughts; it sounded like a large vehicle, preferable a truck. Lecter looked out the window where a large truck was on the way up to the house. Lecter couldn't see the driver, and wondered if Clarice had ordered something that she needed delivered. He decided it best to stay out of side, at let the driver to his business.  
  
The truck came to a stop, from where it couldn't be noticed from the road. The trucker was still out, when Clarice got out. She didn't care if he awakens while she was there, but she was pretty sure that he wouldn't leave before he got his keys back...  
  
Blood was still running from her left eye and her mouth. It ached all over her body when she made her way towards the house, wondering if Lecter had left when he heard the truck.  
  
Clarice walked in the front door and was greeted by Hannibal, who didn't even try to hide his surprise and his anger towards the person who had done this to his Clarice. Clarice stopped and looked at Lecter. "I ehmm ran into someone." Clarice didn't want to give it all away just at once. "I see, and the truck?" Clarice tried to hide her smile but failed, it was too humorous; Clarice was on the edge of laughing. "It was a gift, sort of." Clarice moved past Hannibal and into the kitchen where she found the first aid box and put it on the table. And went over to the sink where she started to wash the dried blood off.  
  
She was, suddenly pushed down on a chair by Hannibal, who took over her treatment. "Tell me Clarice, do you have allot of repressed anger?" Clarice tried to smile. "No, I wouldn't call it that. I just seem to distaste for rude people." Lecter's lips curled up in a smile. "Really?" Clarice felt like playing an old game. "Tell Hannibal, would you mind if we had company for dinner" Clarice's voice was clouded with mystery. "Not all, whom did you have in mind?"  
  
Clarice gave Hannibal a devious smile. But didn't answer. "You know I've always found your cooking to be hmmm rather interesting." Hannibal was going the same way as she. The game was on. "Oh, but the last time you couldn't get away fast enough." Hannibal had the same devious smile as Clarice. "Could be because someone had drugged me." Hannibal changed lanes. "There as good as new." Hannibal had finished the treatment, and began to clear away the first aid kit and the bloody paper.  
  
Clarice got up and walked over to Hannibal's back, and whispered to him. "Tell me Hannibal, what would you do with a 250 pounds of rudeness?" Hannibal kept his back turned so as she couldn't see his smile. "Call his mother and complain about his behavior and of caouse devouer his mind afterwards." Clarice remained where she was. It was now or never.  
  
"Hannibal. What reasons would I have to be here, now, with you? Reasons that you think, is wrong? Should I be some place else then next to the one I love?" Hannibal, turned his face was serious. "Clarice." Hannibal stopped. "There is someone in the house, is it our guest?" Clarice didn't look away from his eyes; she could hear it as well. "Oh yes, the 250 pounds of rudeness." Hannibal smiled again. "What should we do with him? It would be rude of us not giving him a dinner invitation, don't you think?" "Hmm, not really, and if you can't tell by now, I am sure you will soon enough." Just as Clarice finished her sentence, Hannibal wrinkled his nose. Clarice knew that he understood what she was talking about. They hadn't moved out of the place in the kitchen, and their uninvited guest was moving around upstairs.  
  
"You never did tell me what he did Clarice." He hissed her name, anger again showing on his face. "He extended me an invitation that I declined, I guess he didn't want to take no for an answer.  
  
They looked into each other's eyes.  
  
A silent decision was being made. Lecter was gone and Clarice was left in the kitchen, just waiting for the guest to arrive, she positioned her self in a chair her back to the door.  
  
A/N okay this is it for today.. I am running short on things to happen, but I don't feel like an ending is close. Soooo much to do, and so little time.  
  
Well be patient I will have to figure out what I shall do to our dear new guest.... Oh my dear reader, if you are thinking about becoming a beta reader, don't wait, get the show on....  
  
Ta ta 


	31. uninvited rudeness

Clarice could hear him long before he even came close to the kitchen, his foul smell reached Clarice's nose, and she was reminded of her stomach. She decided she wanted to beat him to it. "You know it's rather rude not to knock before you enter someone's home." The steps stopped not fare from the kitchen door. He started mumbling something in Italian.  
  
"I believe I told you earlier Mr. Oh I still don't know you name, but I am sure we'll get to that, as I said I believe I told you I don't understand Italian. But if you wish I'm sure I could find someone to translate for us." Clarice still with her back to the door, smiled at her own joke.  
  
The trucker moved into the kitchen, Clarice didn't move, but she knew at all time where he was, though she had no idea where Hannibal was.  
  
He moved closer, and Clarice finally got up from her chair and faced the trucker. "Don't you think it was time we got introduced?" the trucker just looked at her, rude indeed. "My name is Clarice." She extended her hand in a greeting, but he didn't take it. "You know I really detest rude people, and my companion feels the same way." At the same moment, Hannibal stepped into the kitchen.  
  
"Ahh, am I to presumptuous in thinking this is our guest?" Clarice looked at the trucker for some sort of feeling, but the only thing that was there, was his anger and the dried blood. When he did answer Clarice did. "Yes Hannibal, our guest however would prefer to be anonymous, though I don't know why." Hannibal moved next to Clarice and looked at the trucker.  
  
"Ah I see you where right about the bath." Clarice started to giggle. Drawing both the trucker and Lecter's attention. Hannibal loved to see and hear her laugh; she had been trough so much over the years. The look from the trucker was one of been-letting-out-of-the-loop. "Hannibal don't you think you should introduce your self?" "Your quit right my dear." Hannibal extended his hand. "My name is Hannibal Lecter." Hannibal made sure his surname was punctured.  
  
The trucker went white, he now realized the mistake he had made, and was running for it, trying to get away. Unfortunately his size made it hard for him to move fast enough. Hannibal lunched himself at the trucker, who was down before he saw it coming. Hannibal moved the harpy across the trucker's throat. Clarice watched as his life slowly ebbed out of him.  
  
"What a mess, and in my new kitchen." Clarice said with amusement. Hannibal rewarded her, with a grin showing his white teeth.  
  
"Now, now Clarice. Don't you worry about that, no instead you could think about your little toy outside." Hannibal smiled. "Oh.... I'll just get my sorry ass out and do something about my little toy." Clarice was gone before Hannibal could comment on her language. Instead he smiled to him self. Hannibal started to clean up as he hears the engine of the truck outside. 


	32. out on count

It was past midnight before Clarice returned. She looked like she had been running, sweat pearls was showing, as was her cloths sweaty.  
  
Disposing of the truck hadn't been a problem, it was driving and parking the darn shit. Clarice had parked it almost 50 miles away, and had then hitched hiked some of the way back, the last 5 miles she had run.  
  
She remembered how she had run every day, when she was an agent. When she had moved to France she had given her self some slack, the running had decreased. And running the five miles had taken the tall on her, not to mention that she had had anything to eat yet.  
  
When Clarice reached the door, she passed out.  
  
Hannibal heard a thug; he knew instantly that it was Clarice. He rushed down the stairs and found his little Starling lying on the floor.  
  
  
  
A/N Sooo what did you think of my change?? Don't worry there is more to come. From here the two stories take a different turn. 


	33. back again

Chapter 33  
  
Clarice opened her eyes. She was back in the white room with no walls or ceiling. She clearly remembered what had happen, but she still didn't know if it was real. It felt real but, she was here, could it be real?  
  
"Hello" she called out expecting some sort of reacting from whom ever was there before, she was not disappointed.  
  
"So Clarice, how did you like it?" As before there was no body from where the voice came, it flew in the air. Clarice felt silly; it was like talking to your self. "What do you mean?" "I mean did you get your answers?" Clarice thought about it. "No, not really, what was I suppose to learn?" "You, Clarice was not suppose to learn anything, you where invited to see how your life could be with the man you love." "I'm not even sure I love him," Clarice knew that it was a lie, but she didn't like hearing it from someone else, she still felt like it should be her dark secret, something she only knew, and maybe some one else, but that was it, until now. "Clarice, I don't think I need to remind you, that lying is unattractive." There was a short silence. "So tell me Clarice, did you like it?" "You mean did I like turning into a murder? And luring a criminal to me? To be honest I really don't know. It would mean giving up certain things, my dreams."  
  
"But how about those forbidden dreams that you harbor? Hmm Clarice wouldn't you like to be able to live them out as well?" Clarice seemed to consider this, yes she would, she wanted to be with Dr. Lecter, but it wouldn't be possible. She was an agent, he was a criminal and a cannibal, Clarice didn't know what was worse. That he was a cannibal with feelings or a cannibal who could be obsessed with her, if she even dared think that he had those feelings for her.  
  
"You don't need to answer. Now Clarice, how do you think your life would be like if you captured him, hmm what if that could bring back that wanted seat high up in the FBI?" Clarice was surprised by the question. "They would kill him." Clarice said in the same breath. "He would never get caught, not a live, he would choose death rather then being incarcerated once more. He told me so." "But Clarice, you should know by now that faith has it's own will, and if it was meant for him to be in prison then that is what will happen."  
  
Clarice remembered when he had asked her if she would take his life, and he had concluded that she would only take his freedom.  
  
"Are you ready for yet another trip Clarice?" "Do I have a choice?" there was a short laughter. "No, not really. Time to dream Clarice, time to dream."  
  
A/N to clarice-littlestarling.. I wrote a second version, because there where some things with it I would like to do. You will soon see what I can do with it. that where some what unfitting for the original.. I hope you will read on, and tell me if I am completely out of my mind for doing this. 


	34. an unwelcome phonecall

Chapter 34  
  
Clarice was awaken by the phone, she had no idea for how long it had ringed, by it was starting to get on her nerves.  
  
Clarice had been on stake out to 3 am. And now the damn phone was ringing. Clarice opened one eye to look at the alarm clock she had next to her bed. It was showing 5:55 am. She fumbled after the phone and tumbles several things down off her nightstand.  
  
"Starling" Clarice answered though not fully awake. "This is Noonan. I call because something has come up and I need you at my office at 7 am. Can you make it?" "Yes sir." There was no goodbye, and Clarice was left to wonder what was going on.  
  
Clarice had been working in the bottom of the FBI. Ever since the Chesapeake she had been told again and again that she should be lucky for still being a agent. But Clarice didn't feel lucky at all, she was still an agent but she wasn't happy about it anymore.  
  
For the past year and half she had had nightmares, Dr. Lecter was hunting her dreams. That kiss burned more then anything. In the daytime, she could fill her mind with her job. But in the night there was nothing to stop him. He was there every night. He was the last thing she thought about before she fell asleep and the first thing in the morning. Clarice wished it to be different.  
  
Clarice dragged herself out of bed and in the shower.  
  
Less then 20 minutes later she was on her way to Quitinco. 


	35. getting the job

Chapter 35  
  
Clarice felt like everyone tried to avoid her. Though they made an effort to make it less obvious, Clarice could feel and see it. They might as well have gone in a big circle around her. She was damage goods, as they would say. It wouldn't help their career to be around. Clarice had felt the full impact of that rule, her best friend Ardi had avoided her, even moved out of the duplex they had shared for so many years.  
  
Clarice was alone, hunted by memories of how her life would be if she had never met Dr. Lecter, or if she had asked him to stop. But it was pointless.  
  
Clarice knocked on Noonan's doors and walked in... There was only him in his room, sitting behind his desk.  
  
"Good morning starling" He's cheery this morning Clarice thought. He gestured for her to sit down.  
  
"Starling we have new clues in the Lecter case, we want you to follow up on it, catch him and bring him in." It came as a large bang inside her head, they had found Dr. Lecter and they wanted her to go and get him, it sounded strange even to Clarice.  
  
"Sir if you don't mind me asking, why send me?" "Because you are the one who can get close, and it will also help salvaging your career." Clarice knew it was a lie, the bare fact was that there was no one else stupid enough to take the job. "Sir with all due respect, I think I will say no, that is my right, and since my career is so washed out as you say, then I have nothing to loose by turning it down." There was anger in his eyes. "Clarice if you want to save the rest of that career you do best in going." "Sir..." the look from him silenced her, but not for long. "What will I get out of it?" Clarice came direct and surprised Noonan. "You get Behavioral science department." Though he hadn't expected her to ask, he knew that she had a prize, things had already been set in motion.  
  
"Fine Sir. When is the debriefing?" her voice was cold and there was not even a trace of gratitude. "At 9:30 am. We would like to get this over with fast, if you know what I mean." Clarice did, it wouldn't be long before Dr. Lecter would know that they where on to him, he seemed to have a six sense telling him those things.  
  
Clarice got up from her chair. "Starling" She turned and looked with cold eyes at him. "I'm glad you decided to do it." Clarice turned at left, she knew the prize for this, it would hurt even more then anything. If he was captured, he would get the needle, there was no doubt about it, every seemed to agree that he was better dead then alive. Dead he couldn't escape and make a scene like the last time.  
  
Clarice left for the debriefing.  
  
A/N my dear reader I know I was slow to get this one going, but now it's back on track, I hope you will enjoy this as much the original, but let me know. I think I like the idea this little fic is going on. And you have to be paticent, because with my idea for this one it could turn out to be rather long, but hopefully not dull.. ta ta 


	36. question your boss

Chapter 36  
  
The briefing was dull. The information was all she needed to know, they had spotted Dr. Lecter, better known as Dr. Lurken, in LA. Of all places he would choose a place where no one thought of looking for him, so unlike to chose that city.  
  
He practices as a psychiatrist, of cause, make things so obvious that it can't be right. Clarice was sure that it would come as a surprise to his patients that he was the cannibal the FBI had been looking for, for so long.  
  
Noonan gestured for Clarice to speak.  
  
The eyes turned to watch Clarice. "Okay listen up folks, it will happen as follows." Clarice let those few words sink in, she didn't want to underline that she was the one in control. "We'll not surround the house, he'll know something is going on." They looked disbelieving, moved their eyes back and forth from Clarice to Noonan.  
  
"I will go in after him. You are under no circumstance to enter the house, if you do you are sure to be dead." Again she let the words sink in. She could see that several wanted to ask questions.  
  
"Yes?" A young agent, who still seemed to wear diapers raised from his chair. "Where will the back up be then?" "The back up will be a few blocks from his house, I will get him out of the house from the moment I do so, the back up will move in and fast.  
  
"If you don't mind asking, but how are you going to get him out?" "That is not something you need to know. But let me make it clear, if things does not go as planned and he uses me as a hostage, you are to shoot and kill, even if that means shooting me. You are not to let him escape at any prize."  
  
"You can't be serious." "Both director Noonan and I have agreed on this, and you are to follow those orders."  
  
Clarice knew that it would be hard convincing them, shooting one of their own even if it was her, just wasn't right. But it was the only thing she could come up with, and if he should be captured this was the way to do it. To be honest Clarice didn't care if she lived though this or not.  
  
The briefing ended. Clarice got ready to leave, she didn't want to take much with her, it would be a short trip or the last trip. 


	37. apoitment

Chapter 37  
  
Clarice and the agents arrived in the sunny LA. Clarice's thoughts wandered to Dr. Lecter, how he would react to seeing her again, what she would say to him, and how it all would end.  
  
Clarice had requested help from the local FBI office as well from the local police; she wasn't about to take any chances. They had all gotten the same message, if he tried to pull anything shoot. Clarice knew he would, he would never allow any one, not even her to take him back alive, he had made that clear to her. Clarice knew that people were going to die, she only hoped that she could prevent that, that was the reason that she had decided for shoot and kill them both if it was necessary.  
  
Somehow they had managed to not alert the media, it could be, that everyone knew what was at stake and no one was willing to put that on the line. Dr. Lecter had eluded the FBI for so long, every one was out for revenge, well all except one. Clarice was out to get her life back.  
  
It seem like a joke to her, Crawford's warning, you don't want him inside your head, that was the understatement of her life. It was al too late of cause, she knew that he would always be there, hunting her, mocking her, telling her the truths she hated so much.  
  
But he had never lied to her, she had once, and he had seen though her. would he do so again? No because she was not going to lie, it was that simply, she would up to him and tell him how the story was, and what happen from there would be up to him. Clarice didn't try to think beyond that, she couldn't predict what he was going to do. Kill her, sure death didn't seem as a bad thing anymore, it would be a release from this thing she call her life.  
  
All the agents and police officers were in place, Clarice casual dressed had her handcuffs as the only weapon, she couldn't kill nor shoot him that much she knew. So she settled to the surprise of many for the lovely handcuffs and hoped that there wouldn't be a meat clever anywhere near.  
  
Clarice walked up the street. She banished every thought, focused was apparent to get this done. The lavish afternoon sun bathed Clarice, her hair played in the wind as she close the distance to his home and workplace. She wondered if he knew she was there.  
  
The black wooden door had a golden nametag on it and his office hours, to the right there was a door buzz. She pushed the bottom. Shortly there after there was a woman voice in the com. "Yes" "My name is Helena troy, I wondered if the doctor have time for an appointment?" "One moment." The seconds stood still, nothing moved. It was like people on the street stopped to see if she got in, Clarice held her breath, hoping he wouldn't see though her name, hoping for the obvious to be the perfect cloak.  
  
"Yes, he can see you, come on up." It was on. Clarice walked in the door, ready to face her destiny.  
  
A/N dear reader, I think this is the first time that I have managed to make a cliffhanger that I think matches the criteria for being a cliffhanger.... what will happen now... ohhh let's see. Hmm it could be fun.  
  
Ta ta. 


	38. meeting an old friend

Chapter 38  
  
Clarice had been surprised to hear a woman voice; she had expected Dr. Lecter's metallic voice to come through the com.  
  
It didn't her long to be in the waiting room where a young women sat behind a desk keeping tracks on all the paper. The young gestured for her to take a seat. "It'll be just a minute, feel free to read some magazines." Clarice gave a short nod and sat down.  
  
Clarice's heart beated fast, and she wonder briefly if it would beat out of her chest. There was a buzz, and the next Clarice hear was the voice of the woman. "You can go in now." Clarice cut her breath and put weight on her feet hoping they would bear her.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Clarice walked towards the door, and for the first time she fear what was behind it, she knew what he was capable off, that wasn't what feared her, it was what he might think of her, oh he had always mocked her loyalty to the FBI, those undeserving masters who hated her, because she wasn't like them. She put her hand on the door holding her breath and pushed in open.  
  
Dr. Lecter sat behind a large wooden desk, to her right was two chairs and to her left a bookshelf, filled with books. The walls had paintings on it, she recognized one, it was her, holding a lamb in her arms. Clarice closed the door behind her, and met the eyes of FBI centerpiece.  
  
She could see the surprise in his eyes, those maroon eyes that held so much depth that Clarice feared she might drown in them. There was a short silence as both Clarice and Dr. Lecter tried to find some ground beneath their feet.  
  
"Well hello Clarice." Clarice move towards the desk. "Mind if I sit Doctor?" Clarice looked him in the eyes, anything else he would consider rude. "No not at all, please forgive me, but I'm rather surprised to see you here." Clarice smiled thinking that was the point. "Forgive me for not using my own name, though I would have thought you had seen the obvious in my cloak." Clarice saw the ghost of a smile on his lips. "Why are you here Clarice hmm? Business or is it a social call?" Clarice could feel the cold, his words stung for no reason. "I think you already know that Dr. Lecter." And so he did.  
  
"Did you come alone? Hmm no I don't think so, so where's the rest Clarice?" he hissed her name. If he was worried, he didn't show, Clarice looked at him. Dr. Lecter could see there was something; a trace of something he had seen in Chesapeake, was it love? He didn't dare hope, yet she had given an obvious warning, the Trojan War, and the Trojan horse.  
  
"They are waiting for you outside Doctor." "My brave Clarice, no fear hmmm." Clarice knew fear, but this wasn't it. "Yes, fear but not for you though." "Really Clarice and why is that?" Clarice smiled again. "Quid pro quo Dr. Lecter? Should I be frightened of what you might do to me? That I would end up as one of you victims? I have dance with the devil and it's only fair that I should pay the price." There was silence between them again. "You know I would never be captured alive, so are you here to convince me of that Clarice?"  
  
Clarice stood up and walked to the window, the FBI on the street were like little black ants. She turned her head to Dr. Lecter; there was sadness in her eyes. "I know Dr. Lecter, and I would never try to convince you to come so easy to your doom, and to answer you questions as to why I'm here, alone." she stopped, looking in those eyes again. "I wanted to be here, to talk with you, no drugs, not pressed for time, and be able to say good bye."  
  
Dr. Lecter was taken with her sincerity, had she seen through his bars, did she love him? Dr. Lecter knew there could be no happy ending for them, the where Romeo and Juliet, only in death could they be joined by their love.  
  
"How are this to proceed then Agent Starling?" "That Dr. Lecter is entirely up to you, I have take precaution for all the outcomes that I could think off." She didn't move when Lecter moved closer, she stood frozen to her ground. "Tell me Clarice does that include what I might do to you?"  
  
There were, no fear in her eyes, Dr. Lecter was please. Clarice smiles sarkastly. "Oh that was what I missed, nope sorry Doctor I have that on my list. All possible deaths outcome is checked off."  
  
Dr. Lecter smile, it would have scare most except from Clarice, she had nothing to loose. "pray tell me Clarice, do you get what you crave most by taking me in hmm?" "Most no that I can never have." "So why did you come hmm in hoping of silence the lambs?"  
  
"No Dr. Lecter, I'm never going to silence those lambs, for my only salvation is you." Dr. Lecter looked sincerely puzzled at her. "Really Clarice? And still you plan to serve me for your masters?" "That's the way is has to be Dr. Lecter." "So it is Clarice." There was sadness in his voice. "It would seem that faith has it's own plans for us, could I ask you something Dr. Lecter?"  
  
A/N Yeah I know weird place to stop. look out for next chapter, it'll be up soon.  
  
Ta, ta 


	39. something for something

Chapter 39  
  
Lecter looked at Clarice and took a step closer. "Yes you may Clarice." "May I call you by your given name?" the strange scenario that played out in his offices intrigued him.  
  
For Clarice this was the last chance for her to live out some of those dreams that would never be, Clarice couldn't decide which would be worst, live with the knowledge that he said no, or die with his name on her lips.  
  
"Hmm Clarice, I wonder do you know or fear what I would ask in return?" Clarice had not thought that he would ask anything in return; the simple thought hadn't accrued to her. "Actually Doctor, I didn't quit get to the part where you would ask anything in return."  
  
Clarice got cottonmouth. "You don't happen to have some water?" Lecter moved past Clarice and poured her a glass of water and handed it to her. Clarice sat in one of the chairs to the left in room. "You look quit pale Clarice, you are not sick?" "I'm fine." Clarice said while sipping the water. Dr. Lecter sat down in the opposite chair. "So Clarice, do you think you are going to get out of here alive?" Clarice looked into his maroon eyes. "You tell me Dr. Lecter." Clarice didn't know if she had gotten permission to use his given name, but she felt better to be on the safe side.  
  
"Now that depends on you Clarice." "And how is that Dr. Lecter?" "Hmm now that would be telling." Clarice, felt rather desperate, this was going nowhere. Clarice closed her eyes, trying to be someplace else, then in a room with a Cannibal who had a death wish and a FBI agent who was in love with a cannibal.  
  
Clarice was lost in her thinking; did she wan to return to her life as it was? Not really, there was nothing there, she was alone. Left by friends and colleagues, the only ones taking an interest in her was the papers in hopes that she would screw up again. What was left was in this room with her, and the worst part was not that she knew it was Lecter, no the worst part was that she would never be with him, it was impossible.  
  
"How long do we have Clarice?" there was no answer from her, Dr. Lecter saw the distant look in her eyes. Dr. Lecter got up and went behind Clarice's chair and put a hand on her shoulder while his head was inched from her head he whispered. "Clarice..."  
  
Clarice nearly jumped out of her chair. "Where were you? Hmm" Dr. Lecter didn't remove his hand, it sent shivers through Clarice, and she savored the moment and the touch. Dr. Lecter felt it as well, and from that moment he knew how it was all going to end. It was like the touch had given him all the information he needed.  
  
"How long Clarice?" Dr. Lecter still stood behind her. Clarice wanted to look at him, but when she tried to turn her head, his hand came up from behind and held her chin so that she couldn't look at him. Clarice stopped her movement knowing it was useless.  
  
"I don't know Doctor, but they probably wondering what is going on and why it's taking so long." Clarice answered honest knowing that lying would get her no where. Dr. Lecter let his finger in brief contact with her neck. The touch caused Clarice to take sharp breaths, she never imaging that his touch would send such shivers through her, it was unbearable.  
  
"Hmm Clarice, it seems that we shall always be pressed for time." He traced his finger along her jaw line towards her lower lip, he lingered there. Clarice didn't move, she didn't want him to stop. Her mind couldn't stop her words from her mouth. "Please Hannibal."  
  
The words was all he had waited for. "Please what Clarice, hmm what is it that you want?"  
  
Tears were beginning to come in Clarice's eyes. She still couldn't see him, he held her in place so that he was unseen. It was one thing to admit her feelings to herself, where those dark and forbidden desires could be pushed back in her mind. But admitting them to someone else, admitting them to him was the same as saying those feelings are okay, that they should not be hidden but out lived.  
  
Hannibal moved in front of Clarice and pulled her up. She was drowning in his maroon eyes, she didn't want to fight it, but couldn't help but doing so, denying that which could make her happy. She didn't deserve to be happy, she couldn't save the lambs, what she deserved was to suffer with them.  
  
His eyes were demanding, they where pushing her even further into answering him. He saw the fight that was waging on inside her, he saw how her features changed, he couldn't see which side was wining, he hoped for the first time that here in his final hour that the wining side was his.  
  
His life had been filled with death, he had been alone in life, he had had all that he wanted except from one thing, the one thing he craved more then anything.  
  
"You." Anyone else might not have heard it, but Hannibal did, he felt his heart skip a beat. 


	40. say things as they are

Chapter 40  
  
Clarice felt time stand still, she had said the words that had been in her mind for so long. How many times had she not dreamt of saying it to him, how many times had she not fantasized about how a future would with him? And now there was no time, now there was only tears to be shed for those dreams that would never come true.  
  
His, name brought her such redemption, his touch was heaven. But the only thing that was left was death, she would never be able to live without him in the world, she was dead inside.  
  
Clarice found her voice. "Why are we destined to be apart when we feel destined to be together?" Hannibal drew her nearer there were mere millimeters between them. "We will be together if that is your choice Clarice. You have always had the choice to be with me. Now it seems that this will be your last chance Clarice. I would have offered you more, but faith it seems to intervene with my choices and yours"  
  
She could feel his warmth and saw a glimpse of sadness in his eyes. She knew what he meant, she could choose to be with him and that would be the end, the lambs would be silenced, she would have accepted the love he had offered her once before.  
  
She had said no before, and the way her life had been was everything she didn't want, she had the company of Jack D in the night and the mornings brought with it the hangovers, every day was just a reminder of what she wanted but couldn't get, until now.  
  
Had she said yes to this assignment because it was a chance to save something that she didn't want anyway? Or was it because she could be with him, had she ordered them to shoot her as well because it would be way out of this life and the choice she would have make? The answer was screaming her in the face, it was because of him that she was there, it was to say that she loved him, that she had loved him since Baltimore, and when she came to him in Memphis it was because it was the first time when she had felt that love and acknowledged the feeling for what is was. And she had come because it was time to say goodbye.  
  
Clarice knew she had to tell him, even though he might know what was in her heart, she needed to get it from her chest, the secret that she had carried for so long. But before she could say anything Hannibal closed the space between them and with his metallic voice spoke again.  
  
"Would you indulge me a last time Clarice?" Clarice couldn't find the strength to use her voice and simply gave a nod while her lips formed a yes. He put his arm around her waist and with the other lifted her chin up. "That's my girl" Clarice held her breath as his lips covered her in a sensual kiss that conveyed all his love for her. Clarice where for a short moment stunned until she gave in, the kiss changed from sensual to hungry so many years of love at a distant and the crushing goodbye was too much for Clarice; the tears ran down her chin.  
  
Hannibal kiss those precious tears. Clarice found her strength and her voice. "I love you Hannibal, I have since I first saw you, I came back to Memphis because I realized that I was in love with you. For ten years I struggled with the fact that I was first a woman then an agent, you gave me the push to see it, but then you where gone and it was too late, and even though we don't have much time, I needed to tell you this.  
  
"I know" was the only reply she got from Hannibal, so she continued. "But it doesn't change who I am and what I am. I still have my incorruptibility and my morals, I know I don't need the FBI to know that I still have that, you where right when you told me I only needed a mirror.  
  
Hannibal was intrigued by her tale; he hadn't expected her to tell him this, his little brave warrior, his Clarice.  
  
"But the mirror I needed was not one made of glass, it was a person, I needed you." That sentence caught Hannibal with surprise.  
  
The tears had stopped falling and Clarice kissed Hannibal.  
  
"I'm sorry, I would never ask you to stop Hannibal, so this is the way it's going to end." Hannibal looked at her; he couldn't read anything in her eyes but sadness. "I'll tell you that you decided how this is going to end for me." Hannibal's surprised was so evident on his face, he had expected her to say that he decided how this was going to end for him, but instead she had seen through him, she knew how things would for him, he had told her before. And for the first ever he had no answers.  
  
"What do you mean Clarice?" "I have given them orders to shoot if you try anything..." Clarice let the words sink in, there was nothing unusual in giving that order. "The order goes for me as well?"  
  
Hannibal retrieved his hands, he looked at her in disbelief. He saw the truth in her eyes. 


	41. being left behind

Chapter 41  
  
  
  
There wasn't said a word, her last still lingered in the air around them. Hannibal never thought that he could hear wrong but had she really said that they could shoot her too. That gave new proportions to his escape plan; he had never wanted to use her, yet she had been his only ticket out of her, until now.  
  
Clarice was the first to break the silence. "So as you can see, you decide how this is going to end, I have played my part." She suddenly felt to tired, she would never have imagined this. No she had planned that she would go in and drag him out, she didn't want him in her head, but he was there, had always been there.  
  
Clarice couldn't decide if she was mad or not. Had she ever told anyone about what she was thinking they would confine her in an instruction and never let her out. There never was one who understood why she never called him a monster. No she seemed to defend his being. Ardelia had found it strange, hell even Clarice found it strange. But it didn't matter, not now not anymore.  
  
Hannibal walked over to Clarice. He kneeled down next to her. Took her hand in his. "Tell me Clarice, would you follow me on one last voyage?" Clarice knew what he was talking about, and she knew that he would never do it to her unless she had agreed, no if she wouldn't want to, he would let her go out of love.  
  
"I would follow you to the end of the road." Clarice never doubted her answer. This was what she wanted. She wanted to be with him. He kissed her hand, her palm. His eyes where filled with love.''  
  
"I know my love, and that is why I can't allow it." Clarice was surprised; she couldn't believe what he was telling her. Hannibal saw the fight and all her emotions moving over her face. "No my love, you have to live. I would never forgive my self if your life ended here and now. I have always found the world more interesting with you in it. But my dear is a whole other concept.  
  
Clarice got her feet under her. she was about to argue that point, but she knew he wouldn't let her. "My love, you'll be free, now you are bound by me, my death shall set you free." Clarice saw how his being radiated his love for her. "What is the point in living if you are not here? I will never be able to love another."  
  
Hannibal closed the space between them. "Clarice...." He almost tasted her name. "This is the price, weather we like it or not." Tears were beginning to fall down Clarice's cheeks. "But something tells me that you will not be returning to the bureau. So I leave you what is mine, and I hope that you will enjoy the life you have in front of you." Hannibal kissed away the tears. "I love you, I have always loved you." Hannibal say in a light and soft tone. He walked over to the desk, leaving Clarice in the middle of the room, not sure if she could hold her own weight.  
  
Hannibal was writing her a letter. His copperplate handwriting was quick and swift over the paper. He put it in an envelope and closed it. What he had to do now, would hurt more then anything else he had ever done in his life. The hurt would be in his heart, he had never been vulnerable, not until he met Clarice, and he knew that she had the only place that was in his heart and that she was the only one who could hurt him, now he had to hurt his Starling.  
  
She would never let him leave, she would not allow him this finally way out, so he had to immobilize her.  
  
But they would share the last minutes he had together.  
  
A/N well here is another chapter, sadly I lost the chapters I wrote last night, that is why I am only posting one chapter here today.  
  
I wanted to thank Florence for those nice reviews, I'm glad that you like my story. I will look forward to hearing your opinion on future chapters.  
  
Ta, ta 


	42. saying goodbye

Chapter 42  
  
Clarice looked as Hannibal wrote; she couldn't see what it was. The only thing that Clarice could think about was that this was the last time she would see him alive, he was going to die, Clarice cursed herself for being here, why had she agreed, if she had know that is was going to be as this, she would have stayed away.  
  
She wanted to say good-bye, but she wanted to say good-bye so that she could go with him, and now he was telling her that she couldn't go. Clarice fought to keep the tears away.  
  
Hannibal finally rose from his seat and returned to Clarice. He handed her the envelope.  
  
"Keep this, and open it later." He kissed her, all his soul was in that kiss. "I have given you a new life Clarice, and I expect you to live it, it would be rude to deny a dying man's a last request." He smiled and she tried to return it. "I love you Hannibal and I will miss you."  
  
Hannibal whispered in her ear. "I will always be around when you need me."  
  
He kissed her one last time. "Good bye Clarice." He was about to drug her when she stopped him. "Please don't, I want to be there when it happens, let me walk down with you, you wouldn't want to deny me my last request Hannibal, it would be rude." He smiled at her, he white teeth almost glowing and his maroon eyes were on fire. "No I wouldn't."  
  
They walked together towards the door to the stairs. Clarice's heart was pumping on overtime, and when she looked at Hannibal he was as clam as the center of a hurricane. Clarice whispered to her self "I love you." Over and over again.  
  
Just before the reached the main door, Hannibal turned to look at her one last time. "I love you Clarice." He opens the door and the light streamed in.  
  
Clarice heard the guns, and was surprised to find herself standing still. In front of her lay the body of the late Dr. Hannibal Lecter, the man whom she loved, and the last man she would ever love. She held the envelope tight as she called out.  
  
"Agent Starling is coming out." She hears the voice acknowledge her, as she stepped over his body, she wiped her tears away and took the agent look on.  
  
She felt their eyes moving over her, all the questions that would come now. But she didn't care, he had given her a life, and she had promised to live it.  
  
She walked over to the commander. "I'm going home." She didn't say anything else. She never looked back on the house where Dr. Lecter had met his end, she was moving forward. She would wait with reading is letter; she wanted to be finish with the bureau.  
  
On the flight back she was writing her recognizing. It was brief, but to the point. And she didn't give a rat's ass about her language. She had been fucked for the last time of those ungrateful sons of bitchs, and she wanted to let them know. 


	43. a love letter

Chapter 43  
  
Clarice got out of the cab, with a box. She was greeted by a bunch of reporters and her dark duplex. She was the story of the week. Clarice pushed through the bunch of people and finally reached her door. She was safe for now.  
  
The living room and hall was lighted up by all the blitzs the reporters used, Clarice leaned against the door and closed her eyes, she saw him, in front of her, as if he was still alive. It hurt more then ever, now she had more to remember him by, more to realize her loss. For the first time in her life, Clarice felt like screaming out loud. The world wasn't fair.  
  
She had done so much for her coundtry and this was how it paid her back. Clarice found her old pal Jack and a glass and went up to her room. It had been a shitty day.  
  
It had all begun earlier this day when she had to answer for what had happen in LA. Luckely they pull her ass to court, so Clarice told them what had happen, and when they asked again she had rosen from her chair and in less then charming way told them to shovle it and threw a piece of paper on the table.  
  
On her way out the door she had said, "I quit" they had pushed her for the last time. Clarice sat on her bed and poured herself a drink.  
  
The letter was still unopened under her pillow, for four days now she had not dared open it, she was afraid of the memories, of what he might ask of her and she wanted to wait till the last tie to her former masters had been sewered. It was time.  
  
Clarice emptied the glass and put it next to the bottle on her nightstand. She retrieved the letter from under her pillow and looked at it for a long while.  
  
Her name was not on the envolope. But there was a sweet smell of flowers. She took the letter out, his copperplate handwritining was dancing over the page. Even in a hurry were he collected and consentrated on the task at hand.  
  
Clarice began to read with tears coming down her face.  
  
My dearest Clarice.  
  
I imaging you setting at home now, all ready to make a new start, my brave Clarice. We had all to little time. But you are not alone in the world; I will always be with you in heart and mind. That is how it has always been.  
  
I roughly took the veil from your eyes, you see the truth now and it hurts because only you can see it now that I am gone. I have followed you for years Clarice, watched how you have grown. And I have hoped, for the first time in my life I hope that you one day would acknowledge the feelings you had. Ohh I saw them long before you did.  
  
But know this, I love you; I will love you in death as I did in life. True love have no boundaries, I shall reach out for you from where I am.  
  
You have come so far, that I wouldn't let you be stranded. I will give that which I could not give you while I was alive. A life worthy of you. My brave Clarice, look at the addresses and bank accounts, they are yours. Places all over the earth that FBI have no knowledge of.  
  
Each estate carries something of me, make it yours.  
  
With love always.  
  
Hannibal.  
  
Clarice looked at the papers behind the letter. There were several address all around the globe. And the bank accounts was numerous. Clarice suddenly understood why they could never catch him.  
  
She put the letter away under the pillow. She poured several glasses of Jack D after that before passing out on her bed.  
  
A/N so my dear readers. Was it a good one? Hmmm well there is more to come, that you can be sure off. But I would like to hear, what kind of ending you would find proper for this story, though I already have one in mind I would like to hear what you think.  
  
And to you Florence, I would never EVER get tired of you reviews. I love to hear what you think. I always look forward to hearing what you have to say. So please don't stop. 


	44. seeing happiness

Chapter 44  
  
Clarice was back in the white roomless place, it didn't scare her anymore, it rather felt pleasant. She didn't call out, Clarice simply waited, while she thought of what had just happened. It felt so unreal, but still it had meaning. She had learned so much about her self, and what she was willing to do.  
  
Two times she had seen that she ended up with Dr. Lecter. She had some unsorted feelings for him, feelings that she pushed away. But look at how she had ended up. Clarice what not quit sure what that meant. Did she love Dr. Lecter? Was she in love with a cannibalistic murder?  
  
Clarice didn't like the way this was going, after all she was an agent, she was suppose to get the bad guys not get feelings for them, whether that was good or bad. Clarice began to feel dizzy; all that thinking was apparently not good for her.  
  
"Hello Clarice." The shapeless form was back. Clarice decided she needed to sit down before she fell. "Hello." Clarice sighed when her legs no longer held her weight. "So what did you think of what you just have seen?"  
  
Clarice said the first word that came into mind. "Disturbing." A body emerges out of no where and walked towards her. "Really, and why is that hmm?"  
  
Clarice decided to plunge right ahead, who ever that "person" was he had some answers that she needed. "Twice you have shown me that I'm in love with Dr. Lecter." It seemed so short, was that really it, she should be trilled shouldn't she? Clarice was at seven seas, she had no answers.  
  
The person sat down next to her. "Why is that disturbing Clarice?" she turned to look at him, whom was he kidding. "I'm an agent, I enforce the law, I can't have such feelings for a...." Clarice's words ran out. "With a what Clarice?" for the first time his voice was demanding, it reminded her of someone, but who? Clarice said nothing for several minutes. "Whit a cannibal, a criminal and a murder, it just isn't possible." Clarice sounded powerless.  
  
"Should you deny your self that which makes you happy Clarice?" "How do I know that I would be happy?"  
  
"Tell me Clarice, would you follow your heart if you where sure that it meant complete happiness even with a man whom doesn't obey the laws of society?" Clarice shot out a laugh. "That's one way to put it." Clarice returned to thought, was she afraid that she might loose everything? However little that might be, to run off with him? She honestly didn't know.  
  
"I don't know." "Should we take a look at how it might be?" Clarice didn't think twice about that offer. "Yes." It came out like a hoarse whisper. "Time to sleep."  
  
The white room disappeared.  
  
A/N well dear readers, I'm sorry that I haven't posted in a while, I had no computer to write on, but I surly hope to post several chapters by the end of today.  
  
Please review, I'd love to hear what you think. 


	45. coming changes

Chapter 45  
  
There was a nice summer wind in the trees this lovely morning. Clarice lay in her bed, with her eyes closed.  
  
The air was filled with flowers and the smell of fresh coffee. How many years had it been? Ten years a voice in the back of her head answered back. Ten years, and every Sunday he came with breakfast. She had been given strict orders not to get out of bed, it had how ever taken her years to get use to it, without having thinking that she didn't deserve it.  
  
She had never in her life been dependent on others, she had taken care of her self, never overdoing it, the first few years they had been together she had felt like a spoiled brat, and she felt bad about it. Hannibal had talked to her, and now she enjoyed her self. She felt alive.  
  
She couldn't remember ever being so happy as she was now. And the surprise she had for him, she truly hoped that it come as a big surprise. Somehow he always knew everything in advance or he knew what she was thinking, it was of cause a nice thing, but it made it hard telling him anything he didn't know.  
  
But for the most part it was lovely, it gave more space for conversations on Dante or her past.  
  
They had moved so many times in the past ten years, but now they where living in Japan, they had a nice mansion on a hill, with a view over the bay. And it was secluded; she had as Hannibal a thing for privacy.  
  
The house it self was decorated in a renaissance mood, the house looked like any other until you stepped inside. Clarice love to be in the library, it had books from floor to ceiling, and an open fireplace. Clarice spent allot of her time there reading or talking with Hannibal.  
  
Hannibal had arranged for her to work as a security consultant, but she found it to be tiresome, instead she devoted her time to other things. Hannibal had approved of this; he even encouraged her to do so. Hannibal worked as a well-known psychiatrist it allowed him to work the hours he liked.  
  
But no matter what they where doing Sundays had become secret to them, as where Saturday evening.  
  
Clarice had long since given up thinking about her old life, but today she thought of Brigham who died for nothing, Ardelia who had become section chief for behavior science. Crawford had died, or disappeared, who knew he was gone. Pearshall had become a politician, but had a rather unfortunate run in with a hooker; he had to hide away somewhere.  
  
All her nemesis where gone, Ardelia tried still to capture Lecter because she was convince that he had kill Clarice.  
  
It had never occurred to Clarice to tell Ardelia that. Clarice felt no need to tell her anything; it would only be used as a clue to their whereabouts. And that was a chance Clarice wasn't willing to take.  
  
It was almost ironic to look at it now. Ardelia had the seat in the FBI that Clarice had once worked so hard to get, and now she was the hunter, she had been for 3 years.  
  
And for those 3 years there had been no close encounters. Ardelia had never been close, and Clarice couldn't help but wonder why. Perhaps she was blinded.  
  
Clarice had found heaven someplace she wouldn't have thought looking for it. of all the men in the world she had to end up with a cannibal. It was Clarice's private joke. Life had a funny way of turning out.  
  
She could hear Hannibal in the kitchen. She wondered how he would be as a father, he was strict when it came to their safety, and if she looked away from the things he had done, then he was loving, he loved her, as she loved him. All people had some things that others saw as a mistake. Clarice had never asked him to stop, not in a thousand years.  
  
Had he killed since she took up her roots and traveled with him? Yes, rude people were everywhere, and had he killed to keep them together, oh yes. Had he eaten them? And more important had she?  
  
Clarice didn't know, and really, it wasn't something she thought about. Hannibal cooked from time to time, even though they had a staff en enjoyed it too much. Clarice never asked what it was; she only knew that it tasted wonderful. So the thought of her self as a cannibal didn't disturb her nearly as much as it should have.  
  
Clarice opened her eyes; the room was bathed in lavish morning sunlight. The air streaming in from the open window cooled the white silk sheets.  
  
Hannibal opened the door, he didn't look older then when she had seen him at Chesapeake, Clarice felt as young as ever, the years took gently to her, and now that she was pregnant she felt even younger.  
  
Clarice often pictured herself, sitting at her desk in the bureau, looking twice as old as she was, doing nothing but paper work. It would have been a self made prison. Nothing at all like this.  
  
She wondered why it took her ten years to see it; luckily he was there even when the last veil fell from her eyes. How long had he stood in the shadows and watched her, waiting.  
  
Clarice felt sad thinking about all the wasted time, time she had lost. Hannibal of cause didn't see it that way, to him that time was as valuable as the time they have spent together.  
  
Clarice looked owner of those maroon eyes; he was still standing in the door, his head slightly titled to the side.  
  
"Good morning my dear, I trust you slept well." Hannibal walked into the room; his charisma filled the air and the room.  
  
"Good morning my love, yes I slept very well. At least for the time you let me sleep." Clarice shot him a sheepish grin as he moved over to the bedside. Carefully arranging the breakfast.  
  
"As I recall my dear, it was your request that kept us from sleeping." Clarice knew the battle was lost, but not the war she would get back at him.  
  
Clarice looked at the arranged fruits, she didn't feel hungry, but she tried to eat a little.  
  
Well better get this over with. "There is something we should talk about." Hannibal didn't miss the serious note in her voice. "Have you notice any changes around here lately?" Clarice tried to keep her voice light. "Hmm." Hannibal took time to go through his memory palas. "No, why do you ask?"  
  
"Well there could be some major changes around here." Clarice had never thought about having an abort until now, what if he didn't want a child, and what kind of life could they offer a child, they where on the run. Clarice suddenly became nervous.  
  
"Clarice what are you talking about?" well here goes. "I'm pregnant."  
  
At the very moment Clarice wished for a camera, Hannibal's mouth stood wide open and all his emotions was on his face. It was laughable if it hadn't been for the seriousness in it.  
  
When Hannibal continued to say nothing but simply starred at her, she got worried, and started to babble. "I understand if you don't want it, I mean we're on the run, what kind of life is that to offer a child, it's just that." Hannibal laid his finger over her lips. "Hush." There was nothing but pure joy and love in his eyes, but it wasn't enough to settle Clarice.  
  
Tears were beginning to show in Clarice's eyes. Hannibal removed the tray with the breakfast and moved closer. "shh. It's okay." He held Clarice to his chest, he could see that she was upset, but it had come as a great surprise to him, he had never thought that he would be a father, not even after all those years with Clarice. It would mean changes, but they where changes that he was willing to make. He was going to be a father.  
  
When Clarice had calmed down, Hannibal continued to talk. "What made you think I wouldn't want to have a child?" he strokes her hair, while still holding her in his strong arms.  
  
"I just thought, when you didn't say anything, that..." Clarice sobbed a bit more before continuing. "That you where disappointed with me."  
  
Hannibal smiled to himself, his Starling ever so strong, even she needed to hear that he loved her.  
  
"I love you Clarice, I would never be disappointed with you." He lifted up her chin and covered her lips with his own.  
  
A/N as you can see this chapter is bit longer, but as I keep adding new chapters I thought it would be better to make the chapters longer so that I don't end up with a story that has 200+ chapters.  
  
Tell dear reader if that is a good idea, longer but fewer chapters, I'm dying to hear. 


	46. child of their own

Chapter 46  
  
Clarice had never been cared and fussed so much for in all her life. Since she had told Hannibal that she was pregnant she had seen a side of him that was over caring, well that was she felt, but what she hated most was that he would take chances.  
  
Which in her case meant no wine or spicy foods, which was two of the things she enjoyed very much. Clarice knew that it was for the baby and not his personal taste of torture that he did it, but it still got on her nerves.  
  
She had somehow avoided having morning sickness, and that pleased her immensely, but her hormones were having a field day, she could cry over a flower or laugh when Hannibal looked at her. it was driving her crazy.  
  
Clarice busted out laughing at the thought that it was herself she figured to be the crazy one, after all here she was, pregnant and the father just happened to be a world known cannibal. That was just too fun to pas by.  
  
Hannibal had sought refuge in his office in town, and she really didn't blame him, instead it was the staff that had to put up with her, while Hannibal was gone. She felt sorry for them. Having a high pregnant woman buzzing around with you, was hardly worth the salary they where getting.  
  
Hannibal had decided to examining Clarice himself, the same would happen when she would go into labor, he would bring his child into the world him self. There where to be taken no chances on the world knowing that there was to be a child of Mr. And Mrs. Lecter. Safe guard.  
  
Clarice had to admit that she felt more at ease with Hannibal as her doctor then she would have with a stranger. Clarice couldn't deny that she was anxious, maybe even paranoid, she was afraid when Hannibal wasn't around, she thought there were agents all over, is of cause turned out to be nothing, but she was egdechy, Clarice blamed it on her hormones.  
  
Clarice walked out onto the Terence, the afternoon air laid a cool cloak around Clarice as she inhaled the wonderful air that was filled with flowers, the sun was beginning it's descent, to hide away and make room for the moon. The wind played with her hair and her silk robe. She welcomed the chill in sent through her body as she closed her eyes.  
  
She heard music, it was classical, carried on the wind, and she knew Hannibal was home. The soft tones of the piano lifted her up, she felt like flying. There was something both saddening and uplifting almost alive about Goldberg's variations. Clarice had come to love it as much as Hannibal, of cause the stereo was nothing compare to Hannibal's talent at the Piano, she loved sitting in the corner at listing to him play, it even seemed to soothe the baby, whom was growing impatient to see the light of the world.  
  
It cost Clarice many sleepless nights, and she only hoped that it would be over soon, Hannibal had told her that she was due in five days. But the time seemed to slow down even further with the knowledge that it was coming to an end.  
  
The sun had set, and the moon castes it's gray light over the shapes that were out in the night. Clarice didn't feel like going in, the air had just the right temperature; Clarice stood and took in all the nature, trying not to think too much.  
  
What a turn life had taken, she wanted to be an agent, that she accomplished, it was her life dream, and now look at her, she was living as a criminal, wanted in several countries for questioning, she was married to a cannibal and was expecting his child. How ever did that happen?  
  
Clarice couldn't stop her mind, in wanted to remind her again and again why she was here. This was the card faith had dealt her.  
  
Clarice suddenly felt a jolt of pain, and before falling to the ground she managed to call out for Hannibal, her mind reiterated his hurried steps from somewhere in the house, but she was out by the time he had reached the room.  
  
Clarice heard his voice gently talking to her, but his form was a blur as was the rest of the room. How long had she been out? Was the baby ok? Clarice couldn't feel anything, she felt nauseated and she wished she could see more clearly.  
  
Moments passed when Clarice finally could hear his voice more clearly, and she found her own voice. "What Happen?" her cottonmouth made it hard to speak.  
  
Hannibal held a glass of water to her mouth. "You had an accident my dear." His voice betrayed none of those emotions he might have. There were noting but pure caring and love. Clarice looked at him, her blue eyes seeking his maroon. "How bad is it?" Clarice wanted to go right to the point.  
  
Hannibal looked right back at Clarice, seeing her worried feelings running across her face, he knew she was expecting the worst.  
  
"You have to spent the reminder of the pregnancy in bed, I have further more given you an epidermal, so that you feel no pain." Hannibal stopped the stream of words, looking for signs that Clarice could bear no more, when he found none he went on. "you won't be able to give birth naturally."  
  
Clarice took on the burden, without signs of defeat. "I see." Clarice looked out in the air. "But you'll still be there right?" It meant nothing if she could have him there, then she knew it would all be fine.  
  
"Of cause my love." Hannibal drew Clarice in, her head resting on his shoulder. "Then I know it will be all right." Hannibal smiled down in her hair. She had such faith in him, he was honored by it.  
  
Clarice already felt annoyed by the fact that she would have to spend several unnumbered days in bed. She was sure to get bored since they didn't owe a TV. But it was better to be safe the sorry. And so she would spend the days in bed, hoping for his company.  
  
The days went by tormenting slow. The staff was understandingly keeping out of Clarice's way; it was only Hannibal who dared come near her. Clarice's mood swings was getting worse by the minute.  
  
Finally six days later, to every ones relief, Clarice went into labor. Hannibal had sent every one home, giving them extra money for their silence. Hannibal was a strict master, they all knew that, but as long as they did what they where suppose to, there was nothing, for even though he could be strict he was a fair one as well, and generous.  
  
Hannibal delivered his daughter almost seven hours later. He was taken by the strength Clarice passed, just as she looked ready to give up she found more strength. Though he had his hands full, he found time admire his little warrior.  
  
His daughter lay asleep in her cradle, Clarice had passed out, from all the work she had done in the past hours.  
  
Hannibal stood on the terrenes, enjoying the sunset. Tonight it looked even more beautiful, his hand held a glass of wine. He could hear Clarice's soft breathing mixed with his daughter.  
  
He would never have dared hope that he would one day becoming a father. It sounded strange, even now. Father. The sky was painted with reddish light mixed with the golden sun.  
  
He would never have foreseen the turn of events. Clarice had been kicking, and denying her own feelings for so long. Had she finally seen how unhappy she had been? he had promised her happiness, he had promised her his love.  
  
He had always feared that one day she would leave, leave him, or even worse, she would try and get back to her former masters. But his thoughts were his shame, oh he didn't doubt her love for him, but he had a fear deep down inside she would one day leave.  
  
Yet she was there every morning, lying next to him in their bed, if was her. who whispered her declaration of love in his ear. It was she who was there to kiss him sensual when he seemed lost in his line of thought. She was always with him.  
  
She had given him all of her, and now she had given him a child.  
  
The sun had set, but there was still light, Hannibal emptied his glass and walked into the master bedroom, where his wife and child were sound asleep.  
  
He lingered over the cradle, looking at the beauty lying there, unaware of the burden she carried. Clarice and Hannibal had decided that their child should know it heritage. It should have the knowledge, it would serve as protection as well and pride.  
  
Yes she might be the daughter of a world know cannibal, and the killing machine of the FBI, but she would still be their child.  
  
He turned to look at the sleeping figure of his wife, even in her sleep she was grace, she was his haven.  
  
Clarice began to stir, and Hannibal found his seat next to her in the bed.  
  
"Hi" Clarice's voice was still sounding muffled. "My love" Hannibal offered in return, taking her hand and lay kisses on her palm and fingers.  
  
Clarice could see that he had been thinking about something that concerned him, through the years she had been able to read him, better then he thought.  
  
"What is it Hannibal?" he had given up being surprised at Clarice's ability to read him, as he had given up trying to hide something that had great meaning from her as well. But he didn't want to be insecure; he didn't want Clarice to think that he was afraid of her leaving.  
  
"Are you happy? With being here, with me?" Clarice knew the importance of her answer. "Hannibal, there is no place I would rather be, I might not have seen it at first, but now." Clarice fought her tears. Hannibal kissed her, as his lips sought out her salted tears, Clarice found her voice again. "I wouldn't know what to do, if you weren't in my life, you are my life, as much as our child now is."  
  
"I am happy, more happy then I would ever have dreamt I would be. How could I not be? I'm in love, with a man that I would do anything for. I have a child, something that I would never have thought would happen."  
  
Clarice couldn't say anymore, her words where lost in her sobs and Hannibal helt her tight. He inhaled her smell and talked into her hair. "I will never let you go Clarice." She knew that it wasn't a treat, it was a promise. "Nor will I ever let you go."  
  
Clarice fell asleep in the arms of her husband, her lover, her happiness.  
  
A/N well dear reader, I am sorry for the delay in posting, but well, allot of things have happened, lately. Too much work, no computer. But I hope this lengthy chapter will make up for it. Again I'm sorry. 


	47. waking up

Chapter 47  
Clarice was vaguely aware of the voices around her, her eyes were still closed and she couldn't make out who the voices belonged to. Her head was banging, and her whole body felt numb, she tried to remember what had happen, but it was in vain. The voices were closer now, she thought she could hear Ardelia, and someone else, they where talking over her.  
  
Clarice still couldn't make out what they where talking about, and she tried to open her eyes, but as soon as they let in just a little light, she chose against it. The light was just too bright. Her troth was dry as the desert, and her mouth was as cotton. She tried to speak but there was no voice to do it with.  
  
Clarice fought to keep her self-awake, she wanted to know what the hell was going on, and where she was. Clarice tried not to think of the dream and about him, for it had to be a dream. She didn't complete that train of thought, she didn't want to. It was almost impossible to believe that she could be happy with him, much more in love.  
  
Clarice felt how the light slowly dissipated from the room and she tried again to open her eyes, this time it worked, it took a few minutes for her sight to return, the voices she had heard earlier were gone, and Clarice wondered if she had passed out again.  
  
Clarice noticed that she was in a hospital bed, in a single room; there was a chair over by the window. It was dark outside, not even the moon was out. Clarice sat up in the bed, briefly discussing whether or not she should try her feet for balance. She swung her feet over the side of the bed, and felt the cold floor beneath her feet. So far so good, Clarice thought.  
  
As slowly as possible, Clarice put weight on her feet and before she even knew it she was standing. She noticed that her left arm was in gaze. And again she tried to remember what had happen. She padded over to the mirror and at the sight she was frightful, her face was all yellow and blue, she had a rift down her jaw line, and her left side was all swollen up except from her eyes.  
  
She walked towards the door, set out on the mission to find out what the hell had happen to her. She didn't get far down the hall before she was stopped by a nurse, whom looked as chocked as Clarice had been when she had looked in the mirror.  
  
The nurse quickly followed Clarice back to her room, and went to find the doctor. They returned shortly after, the nurse, a couple of what Clarice thought to be doctors.  
  
"Ahh you're awake miss Starling. How do you feel?" Clarice but down on a laugh, it was so comical, and yet they always had to ask just that. "Thirsty like hell." The doctor on the left nodded and the nurse disappeared out the door only to a few seconds later return with a glass of water she handed to Clarice.  
  
As the water made it's way through her system Clarice felt a wave of energy. "What happen?" it was the only question Clarice so desperately sought an answer after. The doctors exchanged looks, as if to decide who should answer.  
  
"Well miss Starling you where hit by a car almost one week ago, and have since then been in a coma like sleep." Clarice was in shock; she had been out a week. The car accident didn't surprise her. "I don't remember it happening." "That is not so usual miss Starling. Maybe it will come back to you later or not at all, but you shouldn't worry about that though, it won't help to force the memory." The doctor on the right said. Clarice felt dizzy again, and suddenly all she wanted was to be home in her own bed. "When can I go home?" the doctors looked surprised that she would even think to suggest such a thing. "Well we would like to keep you at lest a couple of nights, just to be on the safe side."  
  
Clarice was getting annoyed. "I would like to home." "We can't force you to stay miss Starling, but it would be advisable to stay." The doctors were speaking in vain; Clarice was already finding her clothes.  
  
Shortly after she was sitting in cab, on the way to her duplex. Still in wonder as to what has happened, and what those dreams was about.  
  
A/N too all my readers of this little fic I am truly sorry for taking this long to post, but I have had a block, I still have it, to a mild degree so I have no idea as to when the next chapter will be up. I wanted to thank you all for all the advice you have given..... So read on, I hope to have the next chapter up soon. Oh and don't forget to review it is what gives me ideas to go on.  
  
Ta ta  
  
guber 


	48. taking the next step

Chapter 48  
  
The dark duplex greeted Clarice as she stepped out of the cab, she breifly wondered if Ardelia would be home as she walked up to the door.  
  
She retrieved the key from under the mat and opened the door. Clarice cared for nothing else then making it to her bed.  
  
Later:  
  
Clarice was wakened by Ardelia voice softly asking if she was sleeping. "Not anymore." Clarice's voice was muffled and still filled with sleep. "What are you doing home girl? You should still be at the hospital" the concern in Ardelia's eyes was not lost to Clarice. "I know, I just couldn't stand the place." After a deep breathe she continued. "Or the people." Ardelia offered her a laugh. "Yeah I know, I'm just glad to have my C back. Are you up for coffee?"  
  
Just as soon as Ardelia had said the word coffee, Clarice felt that what she indeed could use was coffee. She notice how the grey morning light was quickly disappearing to be replace by the golden sun light. Clarice was grateful for this morning, she wasn't sure why, but it felt like a new beginning, a second chance, and she was going to make most of it.  
  
Ardelia was already making the coffee, and it's aroma was spreading through the house, Clarice sat at the table grateful for the silence that surrounded them. It didn't last long though. Ardelia sat a steaming mug in front of Clarice and sat across from her.  
  
"so how are you feeling?" Clarice wasn't in mood for another one of these foolish talks about how she was feeling. "fine" her answer was short and cut, and Ardelia felt slightly hurt that her best friend wouldn't let her in on her state. But it was understandable she had been through alot.  
  
Clarice wondered when she could return to work. "So, has anything interesting happen?" Ardelia knew that she was asking to the job. "you know Clarice, that you are on sick leave. Crawford had it arranged, so that when you came around, you could relax for a while, get your strength back." Ardelia feared Clarice's reaction when she found out just how long she was to be on sick leave. And therefore deliberately kept it from her line.  
  
"How long?" Clarice already knew it to be awhile, and she dreaded the answers, how could she be anything without the FBI, it was her life.  
  
Clarice didn't notice that she had used past tense to describe her marriage to the FBI. "3 months with pay." Clarice was shocked again, what was she to do for 3 months. Whatever outburst Ardelia had expected didn't come, Clarice just looked into the air, wondering what to do next.  
  
3 months was a long time, and she did have some things, no feelings to sort out. Maybe time off, was just what she needed, but still she couldn't help the rage she felt towards Crawford for doing so with out asking if it was what she wanted.  
  
Ardelia noticed how engrossed Clarice was in thought and thought better off it, she left the kitchen and made her way to the bathroom, getting ready to leave for work.  
  
Clarice didn't notice Ardelia leaving, as she didn't notice the front door of Ardelia's side of the duplex open and close.  
  
Clarice, sat in the kitchen for the better part of 2 hours before, she came back to reality. She had been thinking about HIM, about work, how those two could never coexist. But the question was not whether they could or not, no the question was, which did she want the most. She had for so long been denying it, but somehow she had known since their faithful first meeting.  
  
Maybe that could be the explanation to all those dates that ended with the first one. Was he the answer to her life? Was that what he dream was all about? To rid her of her fears to run off with him. It seemed ludicrous even now.  
  
But she wasn't fully ready to admit it. Oh she would let it rumble in the back of her mind, and there it would stay, what she needed now was a bath.  
  
Clarice let the water run into the bathtub, while pouring some scented oil in as well. And shortly after stepped in and let the water close around her much sore body. Her thoughts went back to the FBI.  
  
She couldn't right say if she wanted out. But she knew it was dead end, she had reached the glass ceiling and it was only a matter of time before she would suffocate. They didn't want her there, she knew as much and she had been surprised that she was still there after the events at Chesapeake. She remembered how she had wished that they had thrown her out. That she didn't have to make that decision her self. But now she was forced to do so. She had 3 months to figure it out. She wanted a new start so badly, and she felt bad that she had let her daddy down. Tears started to fall down her cheeks again, and she resented her lack of strength. She hated being vulnerable.  
  
Clarice closed her eyes and dosed off.  
  
A/N okay another chapter for those happy readers. I am surprised that I had another one up so soon, though it's off to a slow start so please bear with me...... I'm just getting started. And I am still figuring out where I want it to go.  
  
Ta ta 


	49. a revelation

Chapter 49  
  
The days went slow for Clarice she was not use to doing not, she had cleaned the whole duplex, and washed everything that could be washed. Clarice sat on the floor in the laundry room with her back against the dryer. She had a beer in one hand and a paper in the other.  
  
She was working on her resignation, she had decided to quit the FBI, she didn't want to end up like her father, and it would be wasted. In stead Clarice had applied for a job as a security officer at the local bank. And if she should say so herself, she thought her chances were pretty damn good.  
  
She hadn't told Ardelia about her plans, in fact she had told no one about her plans. There was no point in doing so. She knew that Ardelia would try to convince her to stay. And Crawford would disapprove as well. But Clarice no longer cared. She had finally seen the truth about the FBI, and the truth was there was no place for the likes of Clarice M. Starling. And she had accepted that, and now it was time to move on.  
  
Clarice had not spent much time, thinking about her dream, she had forced it to the back of her mind. But to night there was no escaping it. Clarice had tried to dull her thought process with beer, and was now considering getting her Jack. But she was too tired to get up.  
  
Was it really possible for her to find happiness with a wanted criminal, even a cannibal? She already knew that she could never kill him, and she had come to the conclusion that she could not even deny him his freedom. The world would be better with him in it. How the tables had turned. She had always known who the good guys were, but now, she was confused, the good guys, the FBI, was not as good as they would have the public believe, and Dr. Lecter, was not as bad as the public believed. It just didn't seem right, that she was able to believe the word of a labelled madman, instead of that of the law enforcement. Yet he had always told her the truth.  
  
Clarice did have some unclarified feelings for HIM, but she wasn't willing to admit them, it was unthinkable, yet here she was, and somehow hoping that he would be back, that he would write to her. Oh god how she wanted him to be near her. He was the only one who understood her, her and her lambs.  
  
It had seemed strange to Clarice that the lambs had stopped screaming the night she had decided to leave the FBI. And that night she had dreamt peacefully. It was this morning she knew that it had been the right decision. The lamb that needed saving was her self, and no matter how many other lambs she might save, they wouldn't stop screaming until she had saved her self.  
  
It was this revelation that made Clarice leave the laundry room. She went to the kitchen and made some coffee, it was time to think straight.  
  
Clarice spent the night over a steaming mug of coffee and her laptop where she was typing her resignation. She would quit tomorrow.  
A/N I know this is short chapter. But more is coming. Keep reading. 


	50. getting a good start

Chapter 50  
  
The sun came through the window with the promise of a glorious day, the lavish light played along with the shadows in the kitchen, where Clarice was finished with her writing. It had felt like taking forever getting this finished, while it had in fact only taken about an hour.  
  
But there had been so much to think about. Plans to be made. In the course if the night, Clarice had made a new life for her self. And it was about to start today. And she couldn't wait.  
  
Clarice left the kitchen to take a shower and get dressed. And then went out to her mustang. She could feel the horsepower already. And she wanted to take it out on the highway and push it to its limit. But now she had a destination, maybe later.  
  
Clarice got to Quantico in no time, and she felt how her heart was beating in her chest, she was excited about their reaction. The last time she had felt like so, was back in Baltimore after having found Raspile's head in a jar. Clarice was relieved to notice that it wasn't only Dr. Lecter that could make her feel so, so free, but she herself could do so as well.  
  
Clarice made her way to Clint Pershall's office. Taking one last look at the den of her soon to be former masters. It was a pitiful look, she would have wasted away here. And nobody would have cared.  
  
Clarice reached the office door. His name printed lavishly making sure no one was in doubt as to the position he kept in the bureau. Clarice knocked heavy 3 times, and was granted, "enter" and she did. With all her pride she stepped into the bear's cave.  
  
"Starling what are you doing here?" his voice wasn't cold, but it was clouded with uncertainty, and something else, Clarice couldn't put her finger on. "I've come to say that I quit." Clarice threw the paper in front of Pershall. A look of utter surprise was on his face. And his voice seemed lost except for one word. "Why?"  
  
Clarice was in nod mood to clarify, but did it anyway. "I've grown tired of hitting the glass ceiling." It was as simply as that. Pershall looked at her in disbelief. "You can't be serious Starling." The only answer Clarice offered Pershall was moving towards the door, and before disappearing through it, she said her goodbyes.  
  
She walked down to Hannibal's house, his pictures still dominated the one wall, and her desk was filled with papers. And the computer hadn't been used in ages. Clarice gathers what few belongings she had in a box. And made her way out, into the free world. In search of her destiny.  
  
The dark hollow halls were filled with her presence, and she felt light. The last door was reached, and it was there she bumped into Ardelia.  
  
"What are you doing here Clarice" she didn't try to hide her surprise at finding Clarice here, what was the point. Clarice was equally surprised. "I just came to get my things." Clarice saw the anger in Ardelia's eyes. But the anger was not directed at Clarice. "They kicked your ass out girl?" "Not exactly" Clarice was being evavesis to the best of her abilities. But Ardelia wasn't one to let it go. "What do you mean?" "Well I quit." "You did what?" Ardelia was almost screaming. And she dragged Clarice by her arm over to the mustang.  
  
"Tell me I dreaming." Clarice thought it was growing tedious. "Listen Ardi, you heard right. I am tired, my so called career was going no where, and I saw no point in staying on." Ardelia still had the look on her face. "You can't be serious, this was you life, your dream, you can't quit now, things will get better girl, you just gotta hang in there."  
  
"NO!" Clarice's voice was clinging. "It's over." With that Clarice open the door to her car, threw the box in, and got in her self. "I'll see you back home." Clarice gassed up and drove away without looking back.  
  
As the distance grew Clarice felt more and more liberated. The ride back to the duplex felt short. And Clarice suddenly realized that she would be moving. If she was to start anew, then she had to change the whole setting. Clarice was sure that it would bother Ardelia more then her.  
  
Clarice went inside, she saw her answering machine had a message. She pushed the bottom to play the message.  
  
"Good day, this is from the D.C. bank, we wanted to inform you that the job you have applied for is waiting for you. If you would be so kind as to call in so that we can arrange a meeting."  
  
The message ended. And Clarice was smiling. She had a tad of good luck, and she was starting to enjoy this.  
  
Clarice called back and arranged for a meeting the same day. And she called a real-estate agent as well. Setting up her second meeting.  
  
Before leaving the duplex she wrote a note to Ardelia, just to let her know that she didn't know when she would be home.  
A/N so what do you think.... are this going the right way? I am dying to know. So please need I say it?? Reviews would be welcomed 


	51. placing an ad

Chapter 51  
  
Clarice got back to the duplex rather late, after having been to the job interview, she had been hunting for a home.  
  
She had finally found the perfect one. A flat in the vicinity of her new job that she would start on, on Monday. The flat had it all, a large bedroom, a kitchen where Clarice had decided she would learn to cook, a bathroom with a overly large tub, a work area, a hall and then there was the living room, it had windows that faced the park and an open fireplace. It was perfect. And Clarice couldn't wait to move in.  
  
Clarice saw that the lights where on and thus Ardelia was inside waiting for a explanation. Clarice let out a deep sigh and moved.  
  
She found Ardelia sitting in the kitchen. "Hi." Clarice's voice was cheery. "Hi, so...." Clarice took the bottle of Jack D. And a couple of cokes and two glasses and sat down across from Ardelia.  
  
She made the drinks and pushed a glass towards Ardelia. "You know it's a long story." Clarice began.  
  
"Then just summarize it for me." Ardelia took a sip of her drink. While keeping her gaze at Clarice. "All right. Got tired if a glass ceiling, wanted to start over, got a new job and a new flat, generally a new life, where there is no more FBI and Dr. Lecter." Ardelia was in the state of shock, and took a larger sip from the glass almost finishing the drink.  
  
Clarice took a sip from her drink as well, while she waited for Ardelia to break the silence. When Ardelia just kept looking at her, Clarice decided to speak. "Will you help me move? And decorate my new place?" Clarice hoped it would be enough to wake Ardelia up. And she hoped that she would be as excited about this as she was her self.  
  
"Sure thing girl." Ardelia smile sadly knowing that she would loose her roommate, and she prayed that she wouldn't loose her best friend as well. They finished the bottle and talked about her new apartment, and the new job she had gotten. Life seemed for once to be on the side of Clarice Starling, an ex. Special agent. Now she was simply (no never simply) Clarice added in her stream of thoughts. She was Clarice Starling a women.  
  
It felt good to be that, and no more then that. The night was turning into morning, and Clarice and Ardelia was in full with packing all Clarice's things into boxes. It would take them all them. The music played laud, and they where singing along to the tunes they knew. Time passed swiftly and before either of them was aware of it, all her things was packed and ready for the finally move.  
  
Ardelia and Clarice sat in the darken room; the sun was about to set. "Well girl, you owe me dinner." Clarice started to laugh. "Yeah looks that way."  
  
4 months later.  
  
Clarice had settle into her new life perfectly. The national tattler had a field day, with her quitting the bureau. But Clarice didn't care she had for a while thought that Dr. Lecter would come after her, but that thought was gone again, for he didn't show up, Clarice wasn't disappointed, there was no use in that.  
  
Instead she concentrated on work. As head of security of the bank she made a pretty living, and she was enjoying it as well. Clarice had started to explore her femininity, and found that she was beautiful. She would never have thought that she would find her self amongst the high class, yet here she was, at dinner parties with the mayor, dance parties with the famous.  
  
She sometimes wondered what Dr. Lecter might say if he saw her now, that is if he hadn't already. Though she could have whatever man she wanted, she always went home alone, and spent the night alone. Clarice had long accepted that there would only be one man in her life, and even though he wasn't there now, she hoped he would be, one day.  
  
She had told him not in 1000 years. Clarice sat at her laptop. She was wondering what her next step should be. It would be risky, yet it needed to be done. She looked at the screen.  
  
And the lighting strikes Clarice. The papers. What was it he had said? Place an and to A. A. Aaron. Well it was obvious that she couldn't use the name that he had mentioned.  
  
Clarice sat in deep thought for a minute. What was it she had used in the dream? Helene. Yes it would Helene troy. How perfect it was coming together, and the message.  
  
Clarice remembers a poem she had read recently. She called the papers. Made sure that the ad couldn't be traced back to her. She places the ad to be run the first Sunday of the month.  
  
A/N so how many of you dear readers are anxious to meet the GD. Well make ready for he is about to make in entrance into this story yet again. Happy reading. 


	52. the shepard reads

Chapter 52  
  
Around the globe, in a nice little town on the cost of Spain sat a gentleman. He sat at a table in his robe, reading through the papers as he did every morning.  
  
Dr. Lecter mused to himself. As he reached the personal ads. Even though it had been some time since there nice little te ta te, he still hoped to one day be able to look at a message from her to him. Was debated with him self if this little obsession was becoming tedious, but all though vanished as he saw an ad to A. A. Aaron. It read.  
  
To A. A. Aaron.  
  
For he hears the lamb's innocent call And he hears the ewe's thender reply He is watchful while they are in peace For they know when their Shepard is nigh  
  
Helene Troy  
  
He didn't believe what he saw. And when he looked at the other papers as well, it was the same. Could it finally be? He had read that she had dropped the FBI like a bad husband, or even a bad habit. But he didn't know what went on in her life now.  
  
He was intrigued that she had chosen a poem and not her own words. Dr. Lecter leaned back into the chair engrossed in thought about his little Starling.  
  
She had found freedom at last, and this was an attempt to do what, to achieve what? For the first time, he had no idea what she was up to. His little unpredictable bird. If it was a trap it was better not to alarm them that he was coming.  
  
Dr. Lecter got up to make a phone call to the airline. In less then a week he would be seeing his Clarice again. The game was on, and the rules where no existent. Just like they had always been, but this time the stack was higher then either of them could ever have foreseen. This was to be her last chance.  
  
Dr. Lecter prepared for his journey.  
  
A/N yeah it's a short entry, but it would seem it's going some where.  
  
The poem is William Blake's The Shepard. I don't own that one either I just borrowed it. So tell me what you think of my choice...  
  
Ta ta. Guber 


	53. wine and guest

Chapter 53  
  
Clarice had seen the ad in the papers. She had to distract any agents, run ads in several other papers. And she guesses it had worked since, she hadn't heard from the FBI or any other law enforcement agency. It had been 4 days and nothing has happen.  
  
The Chateau d'Yquem was still waiting for the honour guest, and there was no sign that he would be showing up sometime soon. But it didn't matter, somehow she knew that he would be coming, she could feel it somehow.  
  
And after all, being a wanted criminal didn't help on the travel plans. Clarice settled back in the couch, and watched the fire, her coffee steamed from the table. It was a nice evening and Clarice wasn't tired. She took a sip from the cup. And bite down on a giggle as she remembered that she once always drank coffee from a mug. How things had changed.  
  
It was a bitter pill to swallow knowing that she had always had taste, but never the funds to live them.  
  
The fire played with the shadows. A few candlelights and the fire is the only thing illuminating the room. The darkness was ascending outside, but Clarice didn't seem to notice. She was looking at the flames, remembering how HIS touch had felt like in Memphis, how his kiss had burned, and still burned. She was doomed, she had known for a long time, but it didn't matter as long as she could be with him, she loved him.  
  
Clarice stopped, she hadn't meant to say it, yet it just flowed off, it was the truth, she loved him, she had been in love with him for more then 10 years. Clarice smiled. She would tell him.  
  
She laid down on the couch, she didn't feel like sleeping in her bed tonight. She soon drifted off to dreamland, and didn't hear someone picking her door lock open. A dark figure made his way to the living room where he found Clarice sound asleep undisturbed by his presence.  
  
He watched as the flames played over her features, she looked magnificent, she had changed. Dr. Lecter gently touched her cheek and run his finger along her jaw line. He wanted to kiss her, but thought better off it.  
  
Instead he set out to explore her new accommodations. He started with the kitchen, expecting to find it as he had in her duplex. He was pleasantly surprise to see that it wasn't the case. Even the fridge was filled with food, in case of guest, Dr. Lecter mused to him self. He continued to the bathroom, and again, it was filled with creams, shampoos. And nice fluffy towels.  
  
Her work station, was orderly, the bookshelves that was from floor to ceiling was filled with books. He briefly looked at the papers on her desk. And then continued to her bedroom.  
  
---- Clarice heard someone in her apartment. And at once she knew who it was. ~Well two can play that game~ Clarice tip toed out into the kitchen where she found the Chateau d'Yquem and two glasses, and made it back to the living room where she sat on the couch and the wine on the table along with the glasses and she waited. She knew he would be snooping around and then returns here. ---  
  
Dr. Lecter was taken with her taste, her wardrobe was filled with dresses he could picture on his Clarice to be nothing less then breathtaking. And when his eyes caught the black dress he had dressed her in back at Chesapeake he run his hands over the silk and then over the white scar that marked where his thumb was sewed back on.  
  
Dr. Lecter snapped out of it, and made his way back to the living room where he to his great surprise found Clarice sitting. Dr. Lecter dug back into the shadows, and wondered what had wakened her, surely not him.  
  
"Good evening Dr. Lecter." Her voice was warm and inviting, Dr. Lecter moved towards the couch. Clarice had her back to him. "Clarice" Was all he managed to say as he came into view.  
  
"Would you like a glass of wine?" Clarice gestured towards the bottle on the table. And then looked at Dr. Lecter. A smile crept over her features. "Yes thank you." Dr. Lecter sat in the chair next to the couch and Clarice handed him the glass, and poured one for her self.  
  
The silence was starting to get on Clarice's nerves. She wanted him to say something. "You look beautiful Clarice."  
  
She loved the way he pronounced her name; no other did it like that. His metallic voice was like velvet in her ears it was almost like being in a trance. It didn't scare her that she didn't feel afraid, it scared her even more what she was willing to do, to secure his freedom as well as her own.  
  
"Thank you, you look well." At that he smiled to her. "So tell me Clarice, why did you post that ad, not to mention the wine." Clarice smiled sheepishly. "I wanted to talk Doctor, and as for the wine, well that would be telling." "Talk about what Clarice, I seem to remember your choice the last time."  
  
Clarice not missing the beat, fired back. "And I seem to remember being drugged Doctor." "Touché my dear." She had missed their little words games. They felt lively. "So what is it you wanted to talk about? Clarice brook free from his eyes, she couldn't say it while those intensive maroon eyes bored their way into her soul.  
  
"You never got the answer about the screaming lambs as I recall." It wasn't what she had wanted to say, and they both knew it. Yet he was intrigued to find out why she would bring that subject into the game. Clarice took his silence as for to go on.  
  
"They have stopped, some time ago now." She looked back into his eyes. She was willing to drown in them if she had too. "And why have they stopped do you think hmmm?" This was a question Clarice knew the answer to.  
  
"It wasn't about saving all the lambs, it was about saving the right one. And that was me, it just took me a while to see who the big bad wolf was." At that Clarice let out a heartfelt laugh at the image the line provoked in her mind. She took another sip of wine.  
  
"Now Clarice what did you want to talk with me about?" Dr. Lecter moved closer and sat next to her on the couch. "With one revelation comes another." Clarice let it stay at that.  
  
Clarice looked away from Dr. Lecter and into the flames. She didn't flinch when she felt his hand under her chin, gently forcing her to look at him. "Clarice." She could hear his patience had run out, and it was time for the final game, she had played her hand the best she could. And now it was time to clear the table.  
  
A/N well this seemed as a good place to stop. There will only be a couple of chapters more. So tell me what you think.... was this going to fast am I rushing the ending? Please tell. Ta ta guber 


	54. a perfect ending

Chapter 54  
  
Her face was inches from his, yet she still refused eye contact, knowing what would happen if looked into those eyes of his.  
  
"Clarice" his voice was commanding now, and he forced her make eye contact. "I do think you owe me an answer Clarice." She knew she did, she had after all called him here, to do what? Send him away with the answer to a question he asked so many years ago, did that at all mean anything more.  
  
Clarice suddenly felt very weak, and she didn't know if she could go through with what she had in mind. But there was no going back now, she couldn't and would not loose him again. She looked into the depths of his maroon eyes and was lost. Time stood still, the earth didn't move and no one else existed outside her apartment, there was only Dr. Lecter and her self.  
  
She felt his breath on her forehead; it made her woozy, she tried to concentrate on forming the words. "I....." Clarice closed her eyes and tried again. " I.... I've somehow hoped we could discuss what happened at Chesapeake and perhaps try again." Clarice swallowed and continued. "That is, if you would consider trying it again."  
  
Dr. Lecter looked at her, his face showing nothing of the joy he felt inside, she was his.  
  
"Tell me Clarice, would you ever say to me stop. If you loved me you'd stop?" Clarice looked at him. "If you loved me Dr. Lecter you would never stop, never in a thousand years."  
  
Dr. Lecter moved closer. His body coaxing hers down onto floor. And before claiming her lips he asked. "What is it you want Clarice, what do you want from me?" Clarice knew.  
  
"I want you to kiss me, I want you to make love to me." Clarice touched his lips just barely. " I want you to take me with away with you. I love you Dr. Lecter."  
  
Dr. Lecter smiled. "My love I do think we can dispense with the formalities. After all more then ten years of our little games have changed your status."  
  
" Just shout up and kiss me Hannibal." Hannibal kissed Clarice with all his might, all his passion and all his love. When they both broke away for air. Hannibal lifted Clarice up in his arms and carried her to the bedroom.  
  
He put her on the bed, and looked down on her. As if he was wondering what to do with her know that he had her.  
  
He grabbed her shoulders making her stand in front of him. He ran his hands up her arms, finally resting on her shoulders. Then he removed her dress strops, catching it before it reached the floor. Clarice stepped out of it and into the arms of Hannibal. He kissed her, and continued to lay kisses and love bits down her neck.  
  
Clarice's hands suddenly remembered them self, and went to the buttons of his shirt. When it didn't work she ripped his shirt open, to reveal his salt and pepper chest. She ran her hand over it.  
  
Hannibal chuckled. "Patience my dear, all good things to those who wait." But Clarice had no intention of waiting, she, had waited long enough. She pushed Hannibal down on the bed, and straddled him. "We'd waited long enough. "More then 10 years of courtship has become rather tedious." Hannibal agreed.  
  
He flipped Clarice on to her back and descended on her, his lips seeking her, waking in her a hunger she didn't realize she had.  
  
She moaned as his tongue seeked access to hers. Clarice thought for a moment about the horrors his mouth had done, but they where quickly lost in a haze of lust.  
  
"ohhh God" was the only thought that was left in her thoughts. She had no idea how the last clothes were gone or how they had ended up under the sheets.  
  
But here they were, Clarice's head rested on his chest. Clarice couldn't remember if she had ever felt this way, her body was spent; yet the warmth from the body next to her gave her all the peace in the world.  
  
Clarice turned to look in his eyes. "Promise you'll never leave me, that no matter where you are I am there next to you." Tears where begging to form in her eyes, the thought of a life with out him, was unbearable.  
  
Hannibal kissed the salty tear away from her. "I promise my love."  
  
With that promise the world seemed lighter, Clarice didn't care for tomorrow, all that matters was being here now with the man she loved. The rest would work out by it self.  
  
"you know Hannibal, there is this dream I had while I was in a coma for a week, that I would like to tell you about."  
  
Hannibal looked at her, shocked that she had been in a coma. "Is that so, well I never have been read a good night story before." He sent her smile. And Clarice began her tale, and the reason why it had let to her, being in his arms.  
  
A/N I know, was it a weird ending? Would any of you like a epilogue? Again I would like to hear if any of you feel like the ending was rushed, I never could tell.  
  
Also, you should keep and eye out for version one, chapter 50 has been revised, and more chapters will be up soon.  
  
So please Review. I am dying to know what you thought of this story and if I should keep up my writing.  
  
Ta ta Guber 


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